XENA WARRIOR PRINCESS: SEASON TWO (1996-97)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *metaphysical, psychological*

Nothing about the basic setup of XENA changes from Season One to Season Two, so I can get right into episode reviews, with ratings of (G) for "good," (F) for "fair," and (P) for "poor."

ORPHAN OF WAR (F)-- The season opener provides a big reveal about Xena's past. Years ago, before her decision to seek redemption, she birthed a child, Solan, by her fellow warlord Borias, who perished by an assassin's blade. Xena gave the baby to the king of the Centaurs to raise, and something like ten years later, she and Gabrielle return to Centaur-Land to prevent an incursion for a new warlord, Dagnine. This new villain wants a talisman, "The Ixion Stone," which stores all the potential evil of the Centaur race, and can in theory make a man into an immortal being. In addition to thwarting this over-reacher, Xena must come to terms with young Solan, who thinks Xena guilty of killing his father. There's a particularly good line in which Xena describes a mother's connection to her child long after birth.

REMEMBER NOTHING (G)-- This episode easily could have degenerated into just another riff on "It's a Wonderful Life," but the writers imbue the rewriting of Xena's reality with a strong sense of existential ambiguity. When Xena becomes mournful over her lost brother Lyceus and wishes he were still alive, the Fates change history for her. The heroine finds herself in a world where her brother never died and consequently Xena never became a warlord, though of course she keeps all her memories and skills from her other life. "Reborn Xena" soon learns that not fighting evil in one situation just propagates new types of evil, one of which is that in the adjusted world Gabrielle is now a beaten-down slave. The Fates also give Xena a "reset button," and significantly, she only uses it when she sees Alt-Gabrielle loses her blood innocence. 

THE GIANT KILLER (F)-- In another episode alluding to but not naming the Israelites of the Bible, Xena and Gabrielle must defend the people of King Saul-- including his son Jonathan and the singer David-- against the incursions of the Philistines, led by King Dagon. Xena's championing of Saul's people is complicated in that she has an old friendship with Dagon's champion, the literal giant Goliath. The script tangentially addresses the basis of the cultural quarrel but only in very simplistic terms, and the main focus is on finding a way for Xena to lend David some behind-the-scenes aid.

GIRLS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN (P)-- The mythology of the god Bacchus gets turned into a Greek version of Dracula, fanging girls so that they become "Bacchae," who are basically vampires. I suppose the association may've been that some of the archaic god's followers were violent "wild women." Joxer makes his first return appearance, bearing with him the head of Bacchus' enemy Orpheus. The script throws together those two figures and a very peculiar depiction of "dryads," but the faux vampire mythology is half-baked. Gabrielle does get turned into a vamp and bites Xena. Possibly this was the beginning of the infamous "lesbian subtext," though there's no further comment on the fanging when both heroes revert to normal.

RETURN OF CALLISTO (G)-- Xena comes to regret having spared Callisto (Hudson Leick), for the vengeful vixen wins free and seeks to destroy both the warrior princess and her best friend. By chance, Gabrielle's old boyfriend Perdicas shows up and signals his status as a redshirt by proposing to Gabrielle. Sure enough, Callisto murders him, and Gabrielle is gripped by a lust for blood. Yet to Callisto's immense puzzlement, Gabrielle can't follow through on the ethic of revenge. Joxer further astonishes the villainess by challenging her, but of course Xena's the only real opponent here. And this time, Xena doesn't save Callisto from death-- though that doesn't put an end to Callisto's status as a recurring enemy.

WARRIOR-- PRINCESS-- TRAMP (F)-- If two Xenas are good, three must be better-- and this time, it's perfectly true. Xena's lookalike Princess Diana summons her to help protect her new baby, but a plotter finds a second dead ringer, name of Meg (Lawless of course). I didn't really follow the plot, but with three Xenas running around-- one of whom has the hots for Joxer-- who cares? Oh, and there's another round of baby-juggling.

INTIMATE STRANGER (G)-- This direct sequel to RETURN OF CALLISTO has the heroine haunted by her non-action in allowing Callisto to perish. But that guilt leaves Xena open to dreams sent from Tartarus by the show's first "super-villain team-up." Ares and Callisto then work a body-switching magic on Xena's spirit. Now Xena occupies the form of Callisto in the world of the dead, while Callisto is in Xena's living body. And since Callisto's whole reason for being is to destroy anything Xena loves, the villain's first project is to try corrupting Gabrielle into committing evil. Real Xena gets back to Earth, and with some timely if comical assistance for Joxer, manages to overcome Callisto. However, in the real real world, Lucy Lawless suffered an injury and couldn't resume her Xena duties in the next filmed episode. So instead of both spirits going back to their bodies, Xena stays in Callisto's body on Earth while Callisto still has Xena's form in Tartarus. NOTE: Ares's dialogue indicates that he's probably had sex with Xena's body while it was occupied by Callisto-- and Real Xena's reaction to the news supports the thesis that prior to the heroine's reformation she had voluntary carnal relations with the war-god.

TEN LITTLE WARLORDS (F)-- This one's almost as funny as "Warrior-- Princess-- Tramp," and its setup has great mythic potential. Someone steals Ares's sword, consigning him to mortal status. While no one occupies the throne of the war-god, ordinary, non-aggressive people like Gabrielle become hyperviolent. A better script might have dealt with the interdependence between "war" and "peace" in the mortal realm. Unfortunately, the rest of the script is a labored play upon the "Ten Little Indians" conceit, which is part of some incomprehensible plan by sword-stealing trickster Sisyphus, last seen in "Death in Chains." Kevin Smith has a lot of fun with portraying Ares as a god brought low, but Hudson Leick plays Xena with a sort of glum dutifulness. By episode's end, Sisyphus is foiled, Ares returns to godhood, and Xena is once more Lucy Lawless at the close.

A SOLSTICE CAROL (F)-- TV is even more rife with riffs on "A Christmas Carol" than with those on "It's a Wonderful Life." And at first, the story of the two heroines trying to reform nasty King Silvus sounds VERY familiar, right down to substituting an alleged Greek custom of "Solstice" for Christmas. But I give the writers credit for ringing in a couple of Xmas-tropes not present in Dickens. The first is Gabrielle's friendship with an elderly toymaker named Senticles (by any other name, Jolly St. Nick), and the second is a very indirect allusion to the Journey to Bethlehem. Lightweight fun.

THE XENA SCROLLS (F)-- As if to make up for Season One's terrible clip show, this one only works a very few clips from earlier episodes into a 20th-century adventure riffing on RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK. Lawless and O'Connor get to reverse roles for the most part, with the former playing mild-mannered Melinda, an archaeologist, while the latter plays Janice, a female Indiana Jones (complete with whip). Together, with the dubious help of French agent Jacques S'Er (Ted Raimi), they seek to uncover the secret of certain scrolls that both relate old Xena-stories and lead them to a strange visitor from another era. The action-choreography does not 

HERE SHE COMES, MISS AMPHIPOLIS (F)-- Good old Salmoneus summons Xena and Gabrielle to a city under constant threat of an attack from its neighbors. The only thing that can preserve the peace is a beauty contest, "Miss Known World," so Xena reluctantly assumes the role of contestant "Miss Amphipolis" and seeks to find out who's planning to foment a new war. It's intentionally goofy, but the biggest saving grace is a messed-up dance routine a la Busby Berkeley. One of the beauties in the contest is a transvestite guy, and perhaps it's politically inevitable that he wins the contest-- but at least it's only after three genuinely female contestants drop out.

DESTINY (G)-- Xena and Gabrielle visit the land of Sura, where Xena's army wiped all the denizens, except for survivor Callisto. There Xena is injured by a deadfall, and Gabrielle takes her dying body to a healer. Meanwhile, Xena's mind flashes back ten years, to a time when she and her soldiers took a valuable prisoner-- Julius Csesar, improbably rising to power in Rome at the same time as Xena's inchoate era. Xena places her faith in Caesar, and he repays her by stringing her up on a cross and having her legs broken. The Christ-parallel is reinforced by the fact that Xena has a protector, the warrior M'Lila, who somehow knows that Xena has a special destiny, one involved with individual acts of salvation. However, in the real world, Xena's body apparently dies.

THE QUEST/A NECESSARY EVIL (F)-- A mournful Gabrielle attempts to take Xena's corpse back to Amphipolis for burial. She's interrupted by the Amazon tribe that made the young heroine their princess, and they want Gabrielle to take the place of the deceased queen. Complications ensue. Xena's spirit seeks to re-enter her body, and she can only do so if she gets hold of godly ambrosia. To that end, she takes possession of the body of super-thief Autolycus. Once Gabrielle is convinced that Xena's spirit is in the burglar's bod, they acquire enough ambrosia to bring Xena back to life. However, ambitious Amazon Velasca gets hold of enough ambrosia to change herself into a virtual god. Xena and Gabrielle can only battle Velasca by releasing Callisto-- who also got a deity-upgrade in a preceding episode of HERCULES. Good action, and some nice character scenes between Callisto and the two heroines. Velasca never makes another appearance, but Callisto's career of villainy is not yet done.

A DAY IN THE LIFE (P)-- This is predominantly a comedy episode exploring the day-to-day interactions of the two heroines in between saving people. Many character interactions, but nothing especially mythic. One of the episode's foes is a giant named Gareth, mentioned (but not seen) as an enemy of Goliath in "The Giant Killer."

FOR HIM THE BELL TOLLS (F)-- Another comedy episode, but it scores higher on the myth-meter thanks to dealing with the trope of manipulative Greek gods. In this case, Cupid has promoted the wedding of a prince and princess of neighboring lands. But the love-goddess Aphrodite opposes the marriage because it'll cause her worship to be eclipsed. She enchants goofy Joxer into becoming a hero able to charm the princess out of her senses-- at least, when he hears a mystic bell ring. Xena has a mission elsewhere and Gabrielle gets to play "straight woman" to Joxer instead of being the comedy relief herself.

THE EXECUTION (P)-- Before becoming Xena's sidekick, Gabrielle had a hero-worship for a famous warrior, Meleager (Tim Thomerson). But when the two heroines stop by the hero's town for a visit, they find him accused of the crime of murder. Gabrielle believes in Meleager and helps him escape justice, so Xena must capture him to protect her friend. Fortunately for all concerned, the real murderer is a corrupt member of the establishment. This one could almost be an episode of any TV show. Thomerson's performance is one of the few assets.

BLIND FAITH (P)-- This time it's the old "enemies forced to work together" chestnut. Palaemon, a young warrior gunning to be known as the man who beat Xena, arranges for Gabrielle to be sold into a strange sort of slavery: destined to marry a local king. Xena, whose eyesight is compromised, forces Palaemon to guide her to the rescue of her friend. This proves a good move, since Gabrielle's ultimate fate is to be a dead queen. 

ULYSSES (P)-- Time for a brand new Xena love story. She and Gabrielle encounter Ulysses just a year or so after they participated in the Fall of Troy, so I guess the Greek adventurer didn't remain cursed by Poseidon nearly as long as he did in the Homeric epic. The heroines help the hero battle pirates to lay claim to his ship and then journey back to Ithaca. However, this Ulysses has been led to believe that his wife Penelope is dead, so it becomes easy for him to fall for Xena and she for him. But even before the characters reach Ithaca and learn the real state of affairs, viewers will guess that the great love has no future, particularly after Ulysses offers to join Xena and Gabrielle on their all-girl peregrinations.

THE PRICE (F)-- Xena and Gabrielle take refuge in an undermanned Athenian fort from a vicious tribe of marauders, the Horde. Xena's seen these merciless warriors before, and she becomes totally focused on using any means necessary to save lives from the raiders. Bleeding-heart Gabrielle is deeply offended by Xena's ruthlessness, though everything Xena does is entirely logical against a near-unstoppable threat. The script's pretty clever about finding a way for Gabrielle to provide a crucial insight into the Horde, allowing Xena to save the day.

THE LOST MARINER (F)-- Xena and Gabby meet the Flying Dutchman. Well, this time the cursed ship with an immortal captain is tied to a major Greek myth. In the myth, Athena and Poseidon each sought to become the principle deity of Athens, and depended on Athens' king Cecrops to decide the matter. In the myth, Poseidon lost and took godly vengeance. In the Xenaverse, the sea-god made Cecrops into an immortal captain with a ship no one could board without becoming part of the crew. Xena and Gabrielle get stuck on board the lost mariner's ship, so Xena has to figure out the escape clause in Poseidon's curse. Nothing special as myth, but that CGI Poseidon is very cool.

 A COMEDY OF EROS (F)-- The season ends with another goofy comedy. Cupid's son Bliss-- the avatar of Cupid-as-cherub-- gets his hands on his dad's love-arrows and flies down to Earth. Xena, Gabrielle and Joxer seek to protect a village from warlord Draco, but the arrows cause a Midsummer's Nightmare, with Xena falling for Draco, Gabrielle for Joxer, and Draco for Gabrielle. The wacky comedy works, but there are a few "serious" moments that clash with the whole.