MYTHICITY: *poor*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *sociological*
The one good thing about MISSION is that it's so bad I won't have to spend much time on it.
It's also a minimal plus that we're now completely divorced from the faux-Tolkein RPG with which the series began. MISSION is close to being a remake of TWO WORLDS, with stony-faced Dominic Purcell taking over the role of the weary battle-scarred Earth-warrior from the far more charismatic Dolph Lundgren. Curiously, the writer for MISSION eschews the sympathetic-veteran type, choosing instead to make Purcell's character Kaine a reluctant hitman. This choice doesn't make for a hero in whom the casual viewer can invest, particularly since Kaine's "last job" involves kidnapping two little girls from a Bulgarian embassy in the US. Kaine, after having told his criminal bosses that the job is impossible, accomplishes it with very little trouble (no sign of any police action in the whole film) and imprisons the girls in a connex box for the bosses to pick up later. But before he leaves them in their temporary prison, he randomly swipes an amulet from one little girl.
Moments later the magical amulet whisks the bewildered assassin into a medieval village under current attack by a fire-breathing CGI dragon. Kaine takes shelter in one of the huts, owned as it happens by two exiled princesses, Arabella and Emelina (Ralitza Paskaleva, Daria Simeonova). Because Kaine briefly shot his pistol at the beastie, the ladies think Kaine's some sort of savior. They give Kaine a breakdown of previous events: they're hiding because a tyrant named Tervon killed their royal parents in order to take control of Bulgaria--
What? It's not the RPG fantasy-world of "Ehb," but medieval Bulgaria? I guess that when Uwe Boll negotiated with Bulgarian reps to shoot there with an all-native cast, someone thought that placing the film's action in a medieval version of their country might help tourism. That might've been interesting if there was anything one learned about Bulgarian history or customs, but as far as cultural depth goes, it might as well still be another interchangeable fantasy-verse.
Almost anyone can predict where the movie goes from here. Kaine doesn't want to get dragged into these RenFair shenanigans, but he learns that the only way to get back to his world to get hold of some other magical doohickey in Tervon's possession. Arabella initially doesn't like Kaine, but eventually they become slightly more romantic with one another. So Kaine goes from reluctant hitman to reluctant savior, with next to no character alteration, and there are lots of poorly staged battles, in which the two princesses show off their swordfighting skills.
Kaine does have one half-decent fight with Tervon before the Earthman returns to Earth. Once there, he suddenly turns on his employers and shoots it out with them, receiving some aid from-- the dragon, which followed him to Earth? What? Anyway, he kills all the other crooks and returns the girls to their daddy, who lets Kaine go free. He walks into the sunset with the dragon flying overhead.
I add the "clansgression" tag to this movie because when Arabella was talking about Tervon killing her parents, I could swear she said that (a) Tervon was her uncle, and (b) he got wroth with her parents because they wouldn't let him marry Arabella, his niece. I could be wrong, though, because I won't waste the time to re-check the scene.
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