Saturday, June 5, 2021

MARRIED WITH CHILDREN: “IF AL HAD A HAMMER” (1991)

 







PHENOMENALITY: *uncanny*
MYTHICITY: *good*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *comedy*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTIONS: *psychological*


 

As of this writing I’ve explored the complete, episode-by-episode mythologies of three teleserials, two adventure-oriented (BATMAN, KUNG FU) and one drama-oriented (Classic STAR TREK). In addition, at one time I started to do the same with the SMALLVILLE series but did not get further than the show’s second season. Of these four, three are dominantly serious, while one, BATMAN, combines both serious and ironic elements, but is neither an irony nor a comedy.

 

So, it’s sometimes occurred to me: is there a teleseries, either belonging to an ironic or a comic form, that utilizes mythic images persistently enough to form its own mythology? And having had this thought, which of the long-running shows of ludicrous intent might deserve one-by-one analysis?

 

Could it be I LOVE LUCY, with its war between daffy women and sensible men?

 

Could it be THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW, with its picture-perfect portrait of that other Camelot-couple, living not in the White House but in humble New Rochelle?

 

How about ALL IN THE FAMILY, with its clash of chauvinism and liberality?

 

But no, much as I like all of these shows, their main appeal is dramatic, not mythopoeic. But if there is one American series with such potential, it would probably be the one whose name is in the title of this essay.

 

However, MARRIED WITH CHILDREN had eleven bloody seasons, so I very much doubt I’ll ever analyze the whole megillah. But I would like to pinpoint some of the most relevant episodes to show how even raunchy and utterly disrespectful comedy can take on the complexity of myth.

 

“If Al Had a Hammer” was the third episode of the series’ sixth season. Though many comedy-shows maintained the illusion of a naturalistic continuity, MARRIED’s showrunners were capable of spinning new plot-threads out of nothing at all. Season Six begins with the idea that both Peg Bundy and neighbor Marcy Darcy become simultaneously pregnant, thus bringing chaos to the already erratic lives of their families. Nothing much comes of this development in the series’ long run, given that the plotline may have evolved from actress Katey Sagal’s real-life pregnancy. But the development gives Peg Bundy a new way to lord it over her family.

 

Peg institutes a ritual in which husband Al, son Bud and daughter Kelly must continuously praise the existence of the fetus in Peg’s womb. All three resent the routine deeply, but not as much as Al resents the idea of having to share his bedroom with a squalling brat.

 

Yet with proverbial serendipity, Al comes across a bequest from his late father: the hammer with which the elder Bundy could build things. Going by the established sexual politics of the show, Peg’s womb represents the tyranny of female creativity, so potentially Al’s discovery of a tool, a means of male creativity, ought to be liberating. Al seeks to escape the womb’s tyranny by building a new room onto the house, where he can escape All Things Baby.

 

At first, it seems Al will fail utterly, which gives Peg and Marcy the chance to reflect on how much fun it is to watch men fail at anything and is even more fun than sex. (Marcy doesn’t entirely remain true to this feminine preference, since in the one scene for her husband Jefferson, he complains about her constant sexual demands.) However, somehow Al pulls it together, and completes his project. His wife and kids appear in the doorway of Al’s new addition, and Al banishes all of them from his private room by wielding his father’s hammer like it was Moses’ staff. (The hammer even glows, at least from the POV of the audience.)

 

Numerous MARRIED episodes doom Al’s best intentions due to betrayals by his wife, his scheming neighbor, his daughter or other female entities. This time, he’s betrayed by the other men in his neighborhood, who weakly reveal the room’s existence to their wives. Marcy and other women invade Al’s sanctum and try to turn it into a women’s retreat. Al, revealing that despite his failures he still possesses the strength of a dime-store Samson, achieves a pyrrhic victory by toppling the main columns of the add-on so that it all collapses like the Temple of Dagon. Al subsequently returns to paying homage to the infant in the womb of the Tyrant Mother.

 

Nor do the showrunners neglect to chastise Bud Bundy for his inability to escape his subservience. For the first time in the show, Bud takes on a “rap persona” named Grandmaster B to give women the illusion that he’s “dangerous” rather than a wimpy guy living with his parents. Again, though his sister Kelly and mother Peg not infrequently play direct roles in his humiliation, here all they do is repeatedly make fun of his rap name. Bud finds a bimbo dumb enough to believe his nonsense, and when he lures her into the remains of Al’s ruined sanctum, it looks like he’s going to succeed in his male mission (or emission). But for some reason Al happens to have placed the hammer of his late father on a shelf above the spot where Bud tries to make out. Down falls the hammer—sort of an anti-phallus now, dedicated to targeting the failures of the male kingdom—and clouts Bud. The episode ends with him piteously calling for his “mommy,” and though we don’t see his date’s reaction, it’s implicit that Bud’s attempt to enjoy male fulfillment is as doomed as those of his father. It’s hard to say if they fail because they’re inherently weak, or because they’ve both been beat down by the tongue lashings of wife and sister.  




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