CINDERELLA (1977), LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD (1960)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous* 
MYTHICITY: *poor*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *comedy*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *psychological, sociological*

In my review of the 1978 FAIRYTALES-- the second of Charles Band's attempts to produce a comedic softcore fairytale-- I said that it was fortunate that Band didn't continue mining that vein. But now FAIRYTALES starts to look pretty good next to 1977's CINDERELLA.

For one thing, this story of the put-upon stepsister follows the broad template of the story sedulously but barely gets any comedic punch out of the cornball sex jokes injected.  Instead, producer Band and director Michael Pataki (a character actor, here directing the second of his two feature films) pad the thin tale with forgettable musical numbers. One of the big downsides of CINDERELLA '77 is that despite the babelicious charisma of headliner Cheryl Smith, her stepmother and stepsisters are grotesquely made up and get far too much screen time (particularly the two sisters, who have a number about enjoying sibling incest together). By comparison, the other nice-looking women-- Brenda Fogarty ("Gussie Gander" from FAIRYTALES) and Pamela (SATURDAY THE 14TH STRIKES BACK) Stonebrook-- have next to nothing to do.

CINDERELLA's sole credited writer Frank Ray (INVASION OF THE STAR CREATURES) Perelli uses one of the same gimmicks he'd use in FAIRYTALES: the prince of Cinderella's realm has a little problem keeping interested in sex. That's the reason for the prince to hold his big ball (so to speak), to find a female with whom he can conceive an heir for the kingdom. So out go the invitations to all the eligible girls in the realm, even to Cinderella-- but the stepmother burns her invitation and forces the poor girl to stay home and clean the house.             

Enter Cindy's savior, a "fairy godfather," played by another alum of FAIRYTALES, Sy Richardson. But the godfather is a sneak thief who hides from pursuing law-dogs in Cindy's house. Questioned by the girl, he breaks the fourth wall by acting like he already knows the Cinderella story, and that he's ready to assume the role of magical donor. But to make the burglar-schtick work, Fairy-Guy (who makes the expected gay joke but doesn't "play gay") just happens to have swiped a magic wand from someone. Thus he grants Cinderella her magic gown and her horse-and-carriage, but only until midnight. More importantly, he grants Cindy the gift of a "snapper," which apparently used to be a metaphor for "she's nice, she's tight"-- yet for some reason, this enhancement doesn't go away at midnight as do the other paraphernalia. Thus, in place of the glass slipper routine, the prince, having had orgy sex with a bunch of women at the ball, goes on a search for the girl with the tight twat and happily weds Cindy. Given that Sy Richardson's character is lame this time, and that everyone except Cheryl Smith hams things up terribly, this is one "belle of the ball" that has a sour ring.

 As if to prove that hewing to a template is no guarantor of quality, we have the first of three Mexican "Red Riding Hood" films, all directed by Roberto Rodriguez. However, the short length of Riding Hood story presents problems for a feature-length movie, even one aimed at kids. Over half the movie is just buildup to the climactic confrontation of Red and her enemy the Wolf, with the little girl (Maria Gracia, playing the same Red-role in all three movies) gamboling around her little town while other kids go missing. 

The culprit is of course the Wolf (a human actor in a shabby costume). though this time he's partnered with "Stinky the Skunk" (also a guy in a bad costume). Stinky serves as the Wolf's henchman despite the way the Wolf bullies him, and clearly, he's there so that the director can fill time with the antics of the two anthropomorphic animals. Stinky is more or less the Laurel to Wolfie's Hardy, setting the big bad lupine up for various comic embarrassments. In keeping with this, Rodriguez chooses to take all the "bite" out of the original folktale. Not only is it questionable as to whether the Wolf really wants to eat Little Red, he's kidnapped some other town-kids but hasn't eaten them, imprisoning them in a cave-- I guess until he's really, REALLY hungry?

This undemanding kid-flick-- which I would think would have bored an awful lot of tots-- was followed by a second film I've not seen, CAPUCERCITA Y LOS TRES AMIGOS, in which Red had a second adventure with the tamed Wolf and Skunk, as well as a Dog of some sort. Both movies would probably be forgotten today, save by hardcore kiddie-film fans. However, with his third "Red film," Rodriguez scored a bullseye that has entered the fannish Halls of Fame, teaming up Little Red with "Pulgarcito," the Mexican version of Tom Thumb, for TOM THUMB AND LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD. This loony film pitted the quick-witted kids, as well as the Wolf and the Skunk, against an array of folkloric monsters that might've given pause even to Santo and the Blue Demon.