THE CREEPS (1997)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *comedy*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *metaphysical*

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

By 1997, Charles Band had become inextricably associated with the subgenre of "tiny monsters" through his PUPPET MASTER and DEMONIC TOYS franchises. I can easily imagine him casting about for a new possible franchise, and deciding, "Hey! Suppose I take Universal's four most famous monsters-- Dracula, the Mummy, the Frankenstein Monster, and the Wolf Man-- and turn them into super-deformed versions of themselves?" 

(For those not in the know, "super deformed" is a term originally applied to an animation effect in which cartoon characters, usually more or less realistic in humanoid proportions, unaccountably "morphed" into toddler-sized versions of themselves, just for a quick comic effect. The term isn't used in THE CREEPS, but the movie's alternate title was DEFORMED MONSTERS, for what that's worth.)

Super-smart librarian Anna (Rhonda Griffin) finds that a valuable book has been stolen from the library on her watch. She hires a goofy private shamus named David (Justin Laurer) to track down the book-thief, a man named Berber (Winston Moynihan). 

What neither of the young protagonists know is that Berber has swiped the arcane tome because he knows that with its knowledge he can tap into the "archetypal universe." By doing so, he can make merely fictional characters into flesh-and-blood entities who can help Berber conquer the world. Anna stumbles across Berber and he captures her, intending to help his "archetypal inducer" with a virgin sacrifice. David comes to the rescue and spirits Anna away, as well as the stolen library items. Berber does trigger his inducer, but because the ritual was botched, the four monsters manifest as no more than three feet tall each. 

Of the four, only Dracula (Phil Fondacaro, delivering the film's best performance) can speak, but all are unhappy about their reduced circumstances. Berber convinces the pint-size fiends to recapture Anna in order to re-enact the ritual. The mini-monsters attempt to do so but get the wrong woman, and the ritual is ruined again. Eventually David and Anna are escorted back to the lab, but Anna convinces the monsters that they'd be better off as fictional characters, who are truly immortal no matter how many times they perish. Berber is sucked into his own machine and the Creeps return to being fantasies.

So why did I include "spoilers?" Only for the end joke, which is the movie's only modestly funny bit. A smitten Anna seeks out David and gives him a truly unusual gift: a copy of Sacher-Masoch's VENUS IN FURS. (So who does she want to be, the domina or the masochist?) David, being a lowbrow, observes that about three different movies were made of VENUS, one by the trash-flick director Jess Franco, but the duo get a romantic liaison despite their varying intellectual capacities. Though masochism often figures into pop culture, this is the first time I recall seeing a reference to the author who conceptualized the psychological posture.