THE FANTASTIC FOUR: FIRST STEPS (2025)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *cosmological, metaphysical, sociological*

I wrote this ARCHIVE essay to get into some of the reasons I wasn't captivated by FANTASTIC FOUR: FIRST STEPS, even though I highly approved of the film's avoidance of the political pandering seen in so many other MCU movies. But I might boil down my reaction to STEPS to one sentence: "it's one of the first attempts to make a superhero film about 'ideas,'  but its ideas are not well executed."

Many fans of the FANTASTIC FOUR comic have lauded it for being more in the vein of the genre of "science fiction adventure" than of whatever they see as "ordinary superheroes." I understand this distinction but don't agree with it. However, like the unnamed fans, I think the filmmakers were seeking to foreground the FF's science-fictional associations over whatever they considered typical of the typical long-underwear crusader. This priority is reflected most visibly in the decision not to locate the new FF in "the world outside your window," but in a futuristic 1965. It's four years after Reed, Sue, Ben and Johnny came back to Earth from a space-mission that endowed them with super-powers. But although the four former astronauts have become celebrated for using their powers against evil super-villains, just like any comic-book heroes, arguably it's the genius of Reed Richards (Pedro Pascal) that has refashioned the world-- for instance, by putting faster-than-light space-flight in the hands of Earth-people. To be sure, his wife Sue Richards (Vanessa Kirby) almost equals his influence, having used both her celebrity and an unexplained skill at diplomacy to nullify the arms race. (Guess that makes her an Ultimate Nullifier.)

As for Ben Grimm (Ebon Moss-Bachrach) and Johnny Storm (Joseph Quinn), the two of them can't be said to have had such monumental impact on society, except through their popularity in advertising and in kids' cartoons. In the comic books, the overall family dynamic was that even though the powers of Mister Fantastic and the Invisible Woman were not nearly as consequential as those of The Thing and The Human Torch, the latter two were often like brawling children and often had to be reined in, and properly directed, by their "daddy and mommy." The two "kids" were the muscle, but Dad was the brains and Mom was the heart. Director Matt Shakman and the four credited writers have zero interest in this dynamic, though, with the result that Ben and Johnny barely utter a contentious word to one another. If the four of them were the whole ball of wax in STEPS, then the overall dynamic would been more like THE DONNA REED SHOW than like anything in the comic, much less the better sitcoms. Indeed, after about a half hour of watching the film, the DONNA REED comparison popped into my mind-- and that was without my knowing that one of Director Shakman's most notable projects for the MCU was the streaming series WANDAVISION, which also tended to portray American sitcoms as safe, sterile, and not actually funny.

Yet, Shakman et al do have a new dynamic that dominates STEPS, because it just so happens that in 1965 Reed and Sue also enjoy a new personal best: that of conceiving their first child. Franklin Richards becomes the new cynosure around which the four costumed crusaders revolve. Sue is largely serene and unflappable, even when she gives birth to Franklin roughly halfway through the movie, under circumstances that would make the parturition of Zeus sound positively pacific. From start to end, though, Reed's new status as a father fills him with something like existential dread. In the comics it's Ben Grimm who suffers the most from the foursome's elevation into creatures of mythic importance to their culture. But Shakman et al wanted the protean genius of Reed front and center, because he's the one most responsible for turning New York into a benevolent version of Fritz Lang's Metropolis. This change is not without some positive repercussions. However, none of those good repercussions have anything to do with celebrating what was great about the FANTASTIC FOUR of Stan Lee and Jack Kirby (even though both of them are given a fair number of "Easter eggs," while Kirby gets a special dedication at the end).

So fidelity is not STEPS' greatest virtue. This isn't a serious crime against art-- I for one think Ridley Scott's BLADE RUNNER far exceeded the Philip Dick novel on which the movie was based. But the focus upon the first child of this world's "first superhero family" necessitated that STEPS' adaptation of one of the comic's most famous story-arcs must also orbit the same cynosure. One podcast suggested to me the possibility that STEPS may have taken inspiration, not from the 1966 "Galactus Trilogy" by Lee and Kirby, but a much later 21st-story in which Galactus and Franklin Richards became intertwined. I have avoided looking at any latter-day stories in writing this review, but I've observed that where superhero adaptations, Hollywood often favors the update over the original.

So, long before the appearances of either Galactus or his female herald (whom I believe is only called "The Herald" in the theatrical release), Reed is very worried about how Pre-Natal Franklin will turn out, given that the child has been spawned by two mutated human beings. In the comic books, Baby Franklin's manifestation of godlike super-powers doesn't take long at all. However, for reasons that may have a lot to do with future MCU projects, STEPS never totally answers the question of what Franklin is, except that the average viewer will be reasonably sure he's not just a normie kid.

  The Herald, unlike the Silver Surfer in the 1965 Trilogy, very considerately informs all humans on Earth that their days are numbered and they should prize what time they have left. She leaves, and the Human Torch tries to overtake her, though he does not seek to fight or capture her. Rather, because it's important to the script, his first contact with The Herald gives him a linguistic clue to her background that will later prove important to the narrative. 

Nevertheless, Reed's technology is key to tracing the Herald's path back to her master, and to using the established space-tech to follow her. Shakman channels heavy "Apollo 11" imagery to sell these costumed crusaders as serious astronaut-heroes, and the entire world assumes that the Fantastic Four cannot help but triumph. One marked difference between this scenario and anything in the 1960s FF comic is that as long as Sue Richards was pregnant, Reed benched her from participating in heroics. But it's not feminism that makes it certain that this preggers superheroine will join the guys on the front lines, it's plot convenience.

 Though the space-journey is a little boring, the culminating arrival at Galactus' space-station is bracing, as is the foursome's first encounter with Galactus. The planet-eater confirms his intention to consume the Earth, but there's a new wrinkle. Even though neither Reed nor any other human was able to detect cosmic powers in Pre-Natal Franklin, Galactus is sure that he senses the Power Cosmic in the unborn infant. So he offers the Rumpelstiltskin Bargain: "I'll let your planet live if you give me your cosmic child, whose power can somehow annul my unceasing hunger."

And here's where I return to my opening statement. This reworking of Galactus' original modus operandi presents the audience with a particular idea-- the question as to whether it's morally justifiable to sacrifice "the One" to save "the Many'-- but does a poor job of answering the question. Granted, I enjoyed the scenes of the Herald surfing through the stars, pursuing the FF when they flee the station, and Sue giving birth in the Four's beleaguered spacecraft. Still, I had to ask-- what was the point of the Four fleeing? Didn't Galactus just give the heroes a choice as to whether to yield up their Little Stranger, rather than just outright trying to take the kid? Similarly, when the Four return to Earth, Reed unwisely reveals the suggested bargain to the populace. Shakman and the scripters totally fail to capture the drama of Earthlings turning against their former champions, and they do no better at coming up with a rationale that allows all Earth-nations to work together, seamlessly, on an alternate method of defeating the cosmic menace.

I won't descant on the movie's ending, or on the teaser for AVENGERS: DOOMSDAY. Both were decent for what they were, and I wasn't bored. But I have no sense that Shakman and the rest really knew what sort of story they wanted to tell. The casting of the actors is as much a mixed bag as the script. Moss-Bachrach does adequately with the various comedy scenes with The Thing, but his efforts to play against type-- Ben Grimm is more a sensitive funny uncle rather than a curmudgeon with a bad temper-- comes off as cumulatively tedious. Joseph Quinn's Torch is at least as lively a personality as the one from the comics, even if his quasi-relationship with The Herald boils down to connecting plot-points rather than meaningful communication. Vanessa Kirby probably does the best at projecting both courage and maternal solicitude even though Sue Richards is just as underwritten as she was in the Fox films. Pedro Pascal remains the weakest link, and I say that as one who has no previous acquaintance with his other roles. I think he did passably well with the character the script gives him: a man with an unparalleled master of all the sciences, who nevertheless worries about the possibility of losing his moral center as a human being. But while I don't need a Reed Richards who's a control-freak authoritarian, Pascal's Reed is too tentative to be credible as the leader of Marvel's First Superhero Family.                                       

FUTURE WAR (1997)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *poor*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *drama*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *cosmological*

Well, FUTURE WAR scored some sort of victory over me. Usually, I can discern some basic meaning of even the most jumbled junk-movie. But I've tried to watch this film three times-- the MST3K version, of course (the film by itself might break me) -- and I can't figure out what the filmmakers were trying to accomplish, even on the level of imitating other, better films.

All I can make of this super-cheap film is that some humanoid alien called The Runaway (Daniel Bernhardt) arrives on Earth, pursued by cyborg soldiers who bring with them some mini-dinosaurs they use as trackers (that never look like anything but badly manipulated puppets). Though one might think the cyborgs would be the main menace, they don't play a big part in the incoherent story until the end, when the kickboxing fugitive fights some sort of cyborg assassin (Robert Z'dar). Most of the film consists of rambling conversations between Runaway and various Earth-people, mainly a gal-pal named Sister Ann (Travis Brooks Stewart). The sister is a nun of some sort, but she became a drug addict and sold her body. She never talks or acts like any kind of nun, except that she never becomes a romantic interest to the hero. I considered the possibility that Runaway might be a sort of secular savior to Sister Ann, but the script isn't even inventive to go there. 

Bernhardt was a pretty decent low-rent martial hero in a few nineties movies and in the one-season MORTAL KOMBAT TV show. However, he's out of his element in a zero-budget flick, and so his fights prove lethargic and he fails to put across even basic heroism. After the nineties the actor became pretty a much a stunt-guy. Yet I guess no one can blame FUTURE WAR for that, since I can't believe anyone ever watched it, even on video, until MST3K revived it for purposes of mockery. The director never did anything else of note. The two writers garnered a few more credits but the only thing I recognized was a silly comedy called BIKINI HOTEL, and that timewaster was like gold next to this turd.          

THE ASTOUNDING SHE MONSTER (1957)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *poor*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *drama*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *cosmological*

I tried watching this moldie oldie a few months back and couldn't even get a "so bad it's good" vibe out of it. So I decided to come back to it again later, simply because it has a minor cachet thanks to its status as a "schlock classic."

On this re-watch, I noticed that ASTOUNDING SHE MONSTER commences with "dueling narrations." The first narration, probably seeking to reassure audiences who expected overt science-fiction tropes, consists of a few minutes of a narrator talking amidst shots of various star-scapes. The narrator at first seems to be describing the creation of the universe, and then suddenly he diverts to talking about some alien entities who are going to do something about nuclear catastrophes brought about by warring worlds. Then a much more mundane narration follows how California socialite Margaret Chaffee (Marilyn Harvey) is abducted for ransom by two thugs named Nat and Brad (Kenne Duncan, Ewing Brown) and Nat's lush girlfriend Esther (Jeanne Tatum). The crooks drive their car into the San Gabriel Mountains, presumably on their way to some hideout.

It just so happens that an alien spacecraft crashes in the mountains, and out comes the She Monster (Shirley Kilpatrick), a glowing, unspeaking female in a metallic leotard. She just happens to cross the path of the kidnap car, causing it to run off the road. The car's engine is damaged, so the three kidnappers and their captive are forced to trek through the forests. They find a ranger station inhabited by geologist Dick (Robert Clarke) and take him hostage until they can safely leave the area in Dick's jeep. Meanwhile, the significance of the She Monster's glow is disclosed as she encounters a snake and kills it with what is later said to be a radioactive touch. Then she comes across the cabin, and suddenly all five humans face extinction.

The plot wanders much as the She Monster does, not least because the filmmakers have only one set in which to record-- that of the cabin-- as well as various exterior settings. Thus the humans keep trying to leave and then retreating back to the cabin, making the physical action as monotonous as the dialogue between the principals. All of the dialogue is banal, and the "twist ending" as to the She Monster's true nature is a total mess. I presume director/co-writer Ronnie Ashcroft, who didn't enjoy any other outstanding credits, was simply imitating other SF-films of the decade without understanding how to set up his premise. Clarke and Duncan try to keep the tension going during the many dull scenes, but the potential menace of the She Monster, despite her being invulnerable to bullets, is poorly executed. Some concordances claim that Ed Wood Jr contributed to the script but this has been disputed.               

SMALLVILLE 3:10 ("WHISPER," 2004)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *cosmological, psychological*

"Whisper" is something of a callback to the first-season episodes in which Clark began learning more about his special powers, but benefits from good development of the somewhat dormant Chloe-Lionel subplot.

Through an involved set of circumstances, almost worthy of Rube Goldberg, Clark gets blinded while trying to stop a robbery attempt by a normal thief, Masterson, and his partner Nathan, who possesses a "sonic scream" meteor-power. Masterson is captured but Nathan escapes. Later Nathan tries to spring his partner from jail by abducting Pete Ross and threatening him with harm so that the cops will release Masterson.

Before things heat up to that point, Clark's super-senses seek to compensate for his blindness, so that he becomes sensitive to loud sounds. However, his super-hearing is augmented, and this makes it possible for him to overhear a distant conversation between Chloe and Lionel. in which Lionel's badgering Chloe for more info about Clark. Clark naturally feels betrayed that Chloe would spy on him, and since he also hears Lionel make a remark about keeping the "cured" Lex sidelined at LexCorp, Clark also conveys that info to Lex, so that his friend won't be suckered in by Lionel's deceptions. Lex challenges his father with the new info but conceals the source.  

Though Lana has gotten over her aversion to Clark, her growing affection for Adam makes her tentative for a new reason. Meanwhile, Lionel accuses Chloe of having discussed their conversation with Lex, which accusation has consequences for the young reporter. 

Clark's super-hearing guides him to Nathan's hideout, but because he's blind, Nathan ambushes Clark with an acetylene torch across the eyes. Ironically, the torch doesn't hurt Clark but rather breaks up his scar tissue so that he recovers partial vision. Then a second use of the super-hearing guides the now sighted Clark to Nathan's second hideout, so that Pete is rescued and Nathan is killed. The physical conflict is well handled, particularly since Clark is vulnerable to Nathan's powers, though again it's the soap opera with Lana and Chloe that provides greater enjoyment. For a few moments, Clark dons ordinary spectacles to improve his damaged vision, so that this is the first time Glasses-Clark makes an appearance in the series.  

 

SMALLVILLE 3:9 ("ASYLUM," 2004)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *poor*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *psychological*

The two writers of ASYLUM screwed the pooch as far as following through on the strong drama of the preceding episode SHATTERED. 

We pick up about a month after Lex went into Belle Reve Asylum and Lana began treatment for her shattered femur in the Smallville Hospital. Lana has made some progress toward regaining her normal capacity, but Lex has been fighting his treatment by dumping his medication. Lionel pretends to be the worried father but Lex is sure he just wants to halt Lex's investigation of Lionel's murder of his parents. Clark visits Lex at the asylum and encounters three evildoers he defeated in earlier episodes: "dividing man" Ian Randall, "power-leech" Eric Simmons, and "kryptonite assassin" Van McNulty.  
 

Clark learns that Lionel has scheduled a dangerous shock treatment for Lex, and he strongly considers busting Lex out of the asylum, even though the still-addled Lex knows Clark's secret. After failing to get the shock treatment cancelled, Clark infiltrates the asylum, However, the two meteor freaks, having killed McNulty, ambush Clark with McNulty's meteor rocks while Simmons seeks to leech Clark's powers again. Thus Clark has to balance trying to save himself and to save Lex from electroshock. The freaks are defeated and never appear again, but Lex gets shocked-- which solves Clark's other problem, for Lex forgets the Kent secret.

The action at the asylum is clumsy and uninvolving, so that by comparison the romance-subplot with Lana is considerably better. She remains distant from Clark because of the trauma of her injury yet seems ready to kindle a new relationship with another therapy patient, Adam Knight, who naturally becomes a threat down the road. "Phoenix" stands as the first "team-up" of general-purpose villains Lionel Luthor and Morgan Edge, both of whom have comics-analogues, and it easily outperforms the series' first team-up of super-powered evildoers original to SMALLVILLE.    

In addition, ASYLUM is the first time Clark references the events of "EXILE/PHOENIX" by saying that he wishes he could forget the last month like Lex has. But the lack of discussion between the three Kents re: the Jor-El AI remains problematic.

THE DRAGON LIVES AGAIN (1977)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *comedy*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *metaphysical*

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

I'd heard bits and pieces about this low-budget Hong Kong comedy, but streaming made it possible to see all the craziness in the comfort of my home. DRAGON-- also circulated under the title DEADLY HANDS OF KUNG FU (which title Marvel Comics borrowed for their kung fu magazine) -- isn't a great comedy. But it's definitely a rara avis, given that most Asian chopsockies assiduously avoided references not only to American icons of pop culture but to popular Asian icons as well. I'm sure the only reason director/co-writer Chi Lo bucked the trend was because he almost certainly had no legal permission to use any of these franchise-characters. He was probably counting on just getting his wacky Brucesploitation film shown in HK cinemas for a few weeks, making a little money without inciting foreign retaliation, and closing up shop. Though I don't recognize any of the other movies in Chi Lo's repertoire, it doesn't seem like he ever attempted this brass-balled crossover dementia again.

Purely as an exercise in lunacy, I was won over by the inventiveness of the credit sequence alone. Bruce Lee (played by Bruce Leung) squares off against James Bond, but they agree not to fight after all, possibly because Bond had his share of HK fans. Bruce fights some guys in skeleton costumes, and a taller guy fights them too while the credits play a few strains from THE GODFATHER song "Speak Softly Love." Zatoichi duels Bruce but Bruce tickles the hostility out of the blind masseuse. Kato humiliates the Man with No Name. Bruce is attacked by the Western Dracula and an Asian guy later called The Exorcist, and he bests both of them. Then the sequence ends after Bruce fights a red-robed fellow and more skeleton guys.

Then the "story" begins in Hades, where the underworld's lord, Judge Pao, prepares to judge the recently deceased Bruce Lee. However, the dead body of Bruce appears to get a boner. Hey, surprise, it's just the nunchucks in his pocket! Then Bruce springs back to life and promptly insults the king before his assembled court. Pao shows off his power by shaking a pillar that can cause earthquakes, and Bruce more or less slows his roll.

Next Bruce shows up in what I assume is an underworld restaurant, where he has minor encounters with Popeye, Kwai Chang Caine, and Zatoichi. Bruce pisses off Zatoichi, who seeks revenge by bringing in his criminal allies: James Bond, the Man with No Name (called "Clint Eastwood"), and those skeleton-costumed guys from the credit sequence. Bruce kicks a lot of asses but suddenly loses his strength. There's a second-long scene in which he's being encircled by beautiful women in filmy gowns like the hot maidens from Pao's court, and as Bruce collapses Clint Eastwood kicks him when he's down. Injured Bruce is taken in by the kindly owner of the inn, also a doctor.

  Bruce explains (sort of) to Doctor Wa To and his daughters that he has an "Achilles Heel" from having played around too much in life, and he even mentions the real-life wife of Real Bruce Lee, also the mother of actors Brandon and Shannon Lee. While the audience tries to figure out what this confession of impropriety has to do with anything, the scene shifts to the underworld haunt of the bad spirits, including those already mentioned plus Dracula, The Godfather (who resembles no one from THE GODFATHER), the Exorcist (who resembles no one from THE EXORCIST), and the sex-nymphet Emmanuelle. They're all planning to overthrow Judge Pao, and they reference using their ally Dracula and his "zombies."  

 Some thugs randomly attack Bruce, but he fends them off with the help of the One-Armed Swordsman, who doesn't have a sword this time. Bruce, One Arm, Popeye and Caine put on a show to draw business to Bruce's new gymnasium. While that's going on, some of the hot ladies in Pao's court sit around bathing and showing off their tits while they fantasize about Bruce's attainments, Another shift, and there's a brief brawl when Popeye and Caine beat up some underworld cops. Zatoichi challenges Bruce to a battle, and they adjourn to a quarry, where they have one of the movie's few decent fights (albeit still comical in nature, not even counting Bruce "labeling" his moves after the films he made in life). 

The bad spirits send Emmanuelle to seduce the Bruce, but for some unknown reason he's able to throw off his tendency towards concupiscence, so he rejects her. The Godfather and his gang offer Bruce a place in their conspiracy, and he rejects them too. Pao's wife the Queen and her servant-girl invade Bruce's quarters and knock out Wa To's daughter Sue Man, who clearly has a crush on Bruce though he doesn't show any feelings toward her. One of the spirit-girls takes Sue Man's form but he isn't fooled her come-on. The queen and her servant fight over Bruce and use a magical potion, intended to stoke Bruce's lust, on one another. They become deformed and complain to Judge Pao, but he's more interested when the Exorcist offers him Emmanuelle. 

While Bruce is away from his gym, it's attacked by Dracula and his "zombies" (the thugs in skeleton-suits). Bruce dresses up like Kato and ambushes the vamp and his henchmen in the quarry, and wouldn't you know it, even the hero's defeat of Dracula entails another sex-joke. Meanwhile, Emmanuelle tries to hump Pao to death. Bruce, who has no particular reason to help Pao, intervenes and preserves the ruler's life. Later Bruce has encounters with Bond and the Man with No Name, defeating them easily. Exorcist and Godfather abandon all subtlety and make a frontal assault on Pao's court to kill the king. Pao shakes the pillar again, causing an underworld earthquake. (At least Chi Lo didn't make a sex joke around the pillar, though one could have been halfway justified.) Bruce beats down Exorcist and Godfather, but somehow Pao gets the idea that Bruce wants his throne, when Bruce just wants to quit working for him. Pao calls upon the red-robed guy from the credits, who's some sort of court magician, since he conjures up a dozen mummies to battle the hero. Caine, One Arm (wielding a knife but no sword) and Popeye show up to join in the fun. Once all the villains are defeated, Bruce demands to be sent back to Earth (in a new body, one supposes) by Pao, and everyone waves bye-bye.

I'm of two minds about whether DRAGON is a valid crossover. The presence of humor doesn't keep a given story as being a crossover, but Chi Lo plays so fast and loose with all of these fictional personas that the effect of DRAGON is like that of MAD magazine commingling disparate pop-culture characters solely for the sake of incongruity. However, the idea that all of these characters are dead-- when in truth nearly none of them were genuinely ever alive-- makes this underworld seem a bit like an archetypal state of being, where even "real" Bruce Lee has become more legend than mortal. In any case, I rate DRAGON as having fair mythicity. Despite all of its goofy flights of fancy, it does reveal how thoroughly Western culture was impinging on the culture of Hong Kong, and possibly on that of China as a whole, not least by expressing a desire to see Asian characters like Zatoichi sharing a place at the pop-fiction table with the famous American or European icons. (And there's something rather singular about the director's obsession with Bruce Lee's sexual prowess, which obsession he seems to have thought his audience would share.)                                       

      

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER, SEASON SEVEN (2002-03)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *metaphysical, psychological, sociological* 

LESSONS (F)-- The first episode of Season Seven signals much of the season's theme as the series draws to a conclusion, and the writers have to ask what all the characters have learned in the show's progress. Willow, for instance, is in England seeking to master her enhanced magical powers, while Anya comes to realize that she no longer enjoys being a vengeance demon. Further, the city officials have built a new high school, and Dawn must start attending. Buffy plays mother-hen to Dawn as usual, but it's justified because the school is again built over the Hellmouth. While wandering the semi-familiar corridors of the high school, Buffy stumbles across a new menace in the basement-- as well as a former ally. For some reason, after Spike passed through severe trials to regain his soul and to become a better man for Buffy, he returned to Sunnydale in a semi-crazed, nonsense-babbling state and took up residence in the school basement. (I suppose this was a more convenient location for him from the writers' vantage, though in the previous season they'd established that Demon Clem was keeping the crypt warm for Spike.) The explanation for the appearance of weird specters in the basement is probably the weakest rationale in the entire series. Perhaps the writers were saving up for the introduction of the new Big Bad, who appears before Spike by wearing the faces of previous Big Bads. Further, the new principal offers Buffy a temp job at Sunnydale High.

BENEATH YOU (G)-- This episode-title is even more clever than the one previous. Not only does it play upon the Big Bad's motto, Spike literally lives beneath the school where Buffy works, while in "Fool for Love" Buffy told the bad vamp that he was beneath her, coincidentally echoing the words of one of Spike's previous love interests. Here Spike manages to tamp down his madness so as to sound like his old self, and he offers Buffy his help in solving the mystery of a giant worm-thing chasing after a helpless woman, name of Nancy. Xander realizes that Nancy was fooled into making a wish to a vengeance-demon, who is none other than Anya. When the Scoobies seek out Anya, Spike gets into a fight with Anya and Buffy intervenes to beat him down, not coincidentally getting her first chance to punish him for his attempted rape in "Seeing Red." Xander persuades Anya to reverse her curse on Nancy's boyfriend. After the worm is turned (!), Spike takes refuge in an empty church, and in a moving scene Buffy finally learns that his insanity is the result of having his soul returned, for her sake.

SAME TIME, SAME PLACE (F) -- Willow returns to Sunnydale, but she's so apprehensive about meeting the friends she fought against that she subconsciously surrounds herself with a spell, rendering Buffy, Xander, and Dawn incapable of seeing/hearing her. Yet significantly, she doesn't prevent Anya from witnessing her presence, which gives the writers a bit of an out. Meanwhile there's a skin-flaying demon on the loose. A standout is a scene in which Crazy Spike talks to both Willow and the other Scoobies, without the respective parties being aware of one another.

HELP (F)-- School counselor Buffy experiences her most challenging assignment: Cassie, a young female student convinced that she's going to die on a pre-ordinated date. The Scoobies seek to figure out what forces conspire to take Cassie's life, and Buffy does come to the young girl's rescue-- though only from an external menace. Good twist ending. The character of Amanda appears in a minor capacity but assumes more importance in this season.

SELFLESS (G)-- That Season Six remark by Buffy about the improbability of Anya's marriage to Xander bears fruit, for the Slayer's always been wary of Anya returning to demon-hood. Now that Anya's returned to the ranks of vengeance demons, she finds she lacks her old passion for enforcing curses. But, under pressure from her perceptor D'Hoffryn, she goads a humiliated woman into wishing death upon a college fraternity, through the agency of a spider demon. The killings motivate Buffy into a violent duel with Demon Anya despite Xander's pleas for clemency. However, D'Hoffryn appears and offers Anya the chance to bring back her victims at the sacrifice of her demon-life. Anya agrees, but her master rather capriciously changes the terms of the agreement, merely returning Anya to human status while sacrificing Halfrek in order to bring the frat boys back.

HIM (F)-- In the fun tradition of BEWITCHED, BOTHERED AND BEWILDERED, the "menace" is a high school quarterback. He just happens to own an enchanted letter-sweater, and so he can, without conscious effort, enthrall any woman who sees him. Thus what appears to be Dawn getting her first high school crush proves to be part of a spell that also draws in Buffy, Willow and Anya as well, and they all do a lot of funny stunts trying to impress Quarterback Boy. Xander and Spike work together to solve the case. There's a weird opening sequence in which Buffy saves Anya from demons sent by D'Hoffryn to kill the former vengeance demon. Since D'Hoffyrn had just spared Anya, this is about as random as things get in the series.   

CONVERSATIONS WITH DEAD PEOPLE (F)-- The Big Bad steps up his campaign of terror. His most substantial attack involves taking control of Spike and causing him to sire new vampires, apparently overriding the effects of the chip, as Drusilla did in CRUSH. The evildoer stage-manages encounters with both Willow and Dawn, convincing them that they're talking with loved ones, though Willow sees through the deception and warns the others. Buffy encounters one of the vamps that Spike created, but it's not clear whether or not his revelation of being sired by Spike was a contrivance by the evil master. In addition, Andrew and Jonathan are manipulated into returning to Sunnydale. Jonathan intends to become a force for good, but the great evil pretends to be the spirit of Warren in order to trick Andrew into killing the guileless Jonathan.              

SLEEPER (F)-- The title refers to the idea that the First Evil had transformed Spike into a "sleeper agent." One problem with this metaphor is that Spike isn't doing anything agent-like, such as spying on the Scoobies. He's just vampirizing random humans, and none of them play any role in the First's dark plot. When Buffy charges Spike with killing again, he denies it, but then seeks to launch his own investigation. He encounters one of his vamp-victims at a concert and they fight, the battle ending when Spike dusts her. He begins to remember his dark deeds and shows Buffy a mass grave of other victims, who choose that moment to come to life. Buffy dusts them all, while Spike is manipulated into attacking the Slayer by the First, masquerading as Spike himself. Buffy ends up taking Spike back to her house to find out what she can about the First's plans. A separate sequence sets things up for Giles' return.

NEVER LEAVE ME (F)-- Buffy binds Spike at her house, but he's incoherent and can't be questioned. Meanwhile, the First, in the form of Warren, cajoles Andrew to his next step in the plan. The killing of Jonathan was supposed to open a Hellmouth portal, but there wasn't enough blood-- doesn't the First Evil have this sort of thing calculated in advance? Andrew tries to make up the difference with butcher-shop blood, but by a fortunate coincidence, Willow runs into Andrew and drags him back to the Summers house. The Scoobies get their inquisition-mojo, trying to get info out of the insipid would-be villain. Spike breaks free, forcing Buffy to subdue him again and then chain him in the basement. The First's minions invade the house and spirit Spike away, ending the episode by using Spike's blood to bring forth a horror from the portal. Subplots are established for the Watchers' Council, which is attacked by the Evil's minions, and for Buffy's boss at the high school, Principal Wood.

BRING ON THE NIGHT (F)-- Even after Spike's blood brings forth the super-vampire known as the Turok-Han, the First Evil keeps Spike prisoner and tortures him gratuitously. Due to the Council's essential annihilation, Giles brings three Potential Slayers from England to take refuge with the Scoobies. None of these newbie vampire-killers have had anything like the pre-Slayer training that Faith received prior to being activated, so they're just a bunch of confused, helpless girls that Buffy must rally into a fighting force. Buffy has her first encounter with the Turok-Han and just barely escapes with her life. The same thing happens when one of the Potentials panics and flees the house, and Buffy can't prevent the girl's death or manage to kill the uber-vamp. The story ends with Buffy declaring that they will take the fight to the First.

SHOWTIME (F)-- Though technically the First has no more use for Spike, the evildoer continues to try to break down Spike's belief that Buffy will rescue him. Is it just the First's long history of temptation at work? Anyway, Buffy can't rescue Spike until she vanquishes the Turok-Han, and she and the other Scoobies contrive a plan to take out the uber-vamp in such a way as to instill in the Potentials a belief in their own "girl power." Given how many pop culture remarks flow from Andrew's mouth, it's refreshing that she's the one to make the significant reference to "Thunderdome" before vanquising the uber-vamp.

POTENTIAL (F)-- Buffy continues to train the Potentials because the First has temporarily suspended its attacks. Willow's coven informs the Scoobies that there's another Potential in Sunnydale, and briefly they think it's Dawn. Dawn and fellow high schooler Amanda both undergo a "baptism of fang" and Dawn learns to her chagrin that Amanda's the lucky girl. Xander has a nice conciliatory moment with Dawn.

THE KILLER IN ME (F)-- Giles takes the Potentials off on a "camping trip" to commune with the Primal Slayer-- but is it really Giles, or an imposture by the First Evil? Meanwhile, Spike's chip is acting up, causing him bouts of intense pain, so Buffy has to seek to get new intel from the absent Initiative. The main plotline, though, is that since the Potentials entered the picture, a cute young lesbian, Kennedy, has been making cow-eyes at Willow, who begins to think about a new love. Then something causes Willow to take on the form of Warren, and since others can still touch her, they know she's not the First. Is Willow manifesting the guilt she feels for having massacred Warren, or is it another gambit? The episode includes the apparent return of Willow's witch-buddy Amy on top of all the lively melodrama, and Buffy's big decision about Spike's chip. 

    
                                 

FIRST DATE (F)-- Giles is not happy that Buffy, faced with the choice of repairing or removing Spike's chip, chose the latter alternative. Sans chip, the ensouled Spike seems to be keeping himself on a self-imposed leash, and Buffy can't quite repress her complex feelings about him. Around the same time, Buffy's boss Principal Wood asks her to dinner. On this first date, Wood reveals bis Big Secret: that he's an amateur vampire hunter, ever since his mother, the Slayer previous to Buffy, was slain by a bloodsucker. Viewers of FOOL FOR LOVE will anticipate the identity of the slayer of Wood's mama, and the First Evil even appears to Wood to make certain he connects the dots. In other news, Xander also has a first date with a random new girl named Lissa, and Anya is of course boiling with jealousy. No one's surprised that Lissa's actually a random demon who wants to use Xander to re-activate the portal that unleashes uber-vamps. As fun as it is to see Anya climbing the walls, the nothingburger of Lissa's menace downgrades this episode to filler level. Oh, and the First appears in his Jonathan-guise, trying to manipulate Andrew, also to no great effect.

GET IT DONE (G)-- I assume that for the six previous seasons of BUFFY, Joss Whedon kept a detailed "show Bible" for the Buffyverse. I disagree with his decision to dole out only dribs and drabs about his universe to his viewers, but it's not too easy to argue with success. Up to this point Whedon merely teased viewers with some intimations about the origins of the Slayer line, and almost everything Buffy knows about her heritage has been confined to mysterioso encounters with a specter believed to be "the First Slayer."  After another dream-visit from the specter, Buffy not coincidentally gets a bequest from Wood, left him by his murdered Slayer-mother. The bequest consists of two items that can transport Buffy back to the archaic era when the Slayer line was born. Unfortunately, the transportation-spell sends a big, fighting-mad demon to modern times to take Buffy's place. This makes no sense logically, but it serves the writers' purposes, giving Spike a sparring-partner and allowing the ensouled vamp to take himself off his self-imposed leash and to kill something. Buffy finds herself in archaic Africa, where she's knocked out by three Black African tribesmen. These appear to be the original wizards who created the First Slayer, which they accomplished by taking a tribeswoman and infusing her with the essence of a demon. It's not clear how this essence was transmitted down through the ages. In any case, the wizards' response to Buffy's petition for knowledge of the First Evil is to try to boost Buffy's own power to fight the First. Buffy views this experiment as both a violation of her own body and of the bodies of all those women forced to "bear" (double meaning here) the responsibility for demon-fighting. So after Buffy breaks free and knocks the wizards around, she essentially goes home empty-handed. As a viewer I always assumed that the tribesmen chose females to take on the demon-power because it wasn't possible for men to do so, but Whedon and his writers don't give a reason for the Africans' choice. Buffy assumes that they're just trying to maintain control while using women as their pawns, which seems to have been the dominant attitude of Whedon toward the Watchers as well. On a lighter note, Anya and Spike go on a drinking-date.

STORYTELLER (F)-- Andrew somehow acquires a video camera and begins taping the activities and responses of the Scoobies and the Potentials for some fanciful posterity. Meanwhile, the portal beneath Sunnydale High begins spreading its poisonous influence to the students and teachers, and even Wood suffers a brief spell of possession wherein he castigates Buffy for having slept with Spike. The Scoobies use magic to plumb Andrew's memory, and he recalls that the First persuaded him to use a particular knife in killing Jonathan to open the portal. On the theory that the knife can be used to close the portal, Buffy, Spike and Wood take the murder weapon, and Andrew, to the high school at night. However, several students wander the halls, all rendered berserk by the Hellmouth, and the heroes have to wade through them. Andrew tells varying stories of his murder of Jonathan, but despite his pusillanimous excuses, he does finally admit his evil deed and his confession quells the portal, temporarily. Buffy's speech to Andrew asserts that "Life's not a story," resembling Spike's phrase from ONCE MORE WITH FEELING that "Life's not a song."

                        

LIES MY PARENTS TOLD ME (P)-- As the Principal Wood subplot trundles to its conclusion, the only real "lying parent" of the episode's title is a surrogate one: Rupert Giles. Giles disapproves of Buffy placing any trust in the liberated Spike, and he argues that the vampire still possesses some buried mental trigger which the First Evil can use to usurp Spike's will. Thus the former Watcher comes up with a gross version of a Jedi mind-trick to cause Spike to remember the trigger. Spike does remember that the trigger is an old folk song he heard from his mother, but he conceals the context of his memories, that go back to the period following his siring by Drusilla. Giles finds out that Wood intends to avenge his mother's death by executing Spike, so Giles seeks to distract Buffy while Wood sets a trap for Spike. While fighting for his life, Spike recalls all the unpleasant things that occurred when he sought to sire his mother. But the overcoming of his repressions empowers Spike, so that he both beats Wood and overcomes the power of the song-trigger. As for Giles, while he may have been trying to remain relevant in Buffy's life after he cut her loose to be more independent, the end result is that Buffy tells him that he has nothing more to teach her. It's not among the worst episodes. Yet the various subplots, particularly the maternal elements common to Spike's and Wood's lives, don't come together particularly well.                

DIRTY GIRLS (F)-- This BUFFY episode follows the ANGEL tale "Orpheus," which concluded with Willow picking up Faith (who'd joined the Angel team for a short while) and driving her to Sunnydale to join in the apocalypse. Willow and Faith happen to come across a wounded girl, left to taunt the Scoobies by Caleb (Nathan Fillion), a misogynistic Catholic priest who's gone over to the First Side. While Willow watches over the wounded girl at a hospital, Faith seeks out the Scoobies, resulting in a fistfight with Spike. Later, the two of them have a pleasant conversation that irritates Buffy. Caleb challenges Buffy to a meeting, and she brings several of the trained Potentials along as her backup. Caleb, who had a history of preying on women even before becoming a First-servant, possesses strength far greater than a Slayer's, and Buffy's army is forced to retreat after they lose two of the girls and Xander loses an eye. Caleb is another lame make-work menace from the BUFFY writers, and if Faith hadn't been part of the package, DIRTY would have received a much lower rating. 

EMPTY PLACES (P)-- "Hey, kids, what time is it?" "It's 'Everyone Dump on Buffy' time!" A couple of times before this, the Scooby Support Group drove Buffy from their ranks. This time, the logic is incredibly strained. Almost all of the residents of Sunnydale flee the city in reaction to the evil emanations from the Hellmouth. Buffy checks out the deserted high school, where Priest Caleb attacks and defeats her but does not kill her. I don't think the scene serves any plot-purpose, though Caleb's desire to break Buffy suggests a genuinely "toxic male," in contrast to Spike, who almost rapes Buffy because he's out of mind with passion for her. Scooby-research comes up with a clue to Caleb's origins, and Spike, improbably teamed with Andrew, goes to investigate. Faith sees how edgy the Potentials are, so she takes them out to party. Some rogue cops, under the Hellmouth influence, attack Faith, the girls attack the cops. and Buffy gets pissed by the careless excursion. It's not illogical that the Potentials all vote to kick Buffy out of her leadership role and to nominate Faith as the new general. The script doesn't even begin to justify the regular Scoobies doing the same-- not even Giles with all his control issues. And so, off wanders Poor Little Buffy. Sob sob.

TOUCHED (G)-- There's chaos in the Summers house as Faith struggles to take control of the situation. She comes up with the strategy to capture one of the First Evil's blind minions and to interrogate the creature regarding his master's plan to end the world. This has the effect of revealing to the heroes that the First is building an arsenal of weapons for conquest. Spike and Andrew return, and Spike is not impressed with the groupthink decision. He uses his vampire-senses to track down Buffy, holed up in a deserted house and deeply in mope-mode. In one of the series' best speeches, Spike convinces Buffy of her uniqueness, and she's fortified enough to pursue the plan she proposed to the Potentials. She beards Caleb in his den, where he enigmatically claimed to hold some possession of hers, and uses her superior agility to elude him and claim the prize, an ancient scythe embedded in a stone block. Meanwhile, Faith and the Potentials invade a lair of the minions looking for a cache of weapons, but what they find is a ticking time bomb.

 END OF DAYS (G)-- The junior Slayers largely escape the bomb and seek to bear an injured Faith back to their base. Meanwhile, Buffy, to use her own word, "King Arthurs" the scythe out of the stone block. Not only does Caleb refrain from attacking Buffy while she holds the weapon, the First Evil commands him to let her go. Buffy crosses paths with the Potentials and repels a couple of uber-vamps, thus more or less re-assuming the role of leader. Caleb and the First converse, with the incorporeal master confessing envy of humans' ability to touch one another, if only for the pleasure of murder. Afterward, the First infuses energy into Caleb, which he seems to regard as an erotic experience. After some soulful conversations with both Faith and with Spike, Buffy lays her final plans. One plan involves her getting Xander to abduct Dawn and take her far from the madding war, with which Dawn declines to cooperate. The other involves using Scooby research to find a hitherto unmentioned temple. There Buffy meets a female Guardian, last of an order of immortals who have been watching both the Watchers and their (arguable) manipulation of the Slayers since the Slayer-magic was conceived. The female Guardian lasts just long enough to render more cryptic advice, at which point Caleb intrudes and kills the immortal. Even with the scythe, Buffy is on the defensive, but- it's crossover-time, as Angel suddenly appears and decks Caleb. In short order Buffy defeats Caleb and fondly greets Angel. Spike, watching from hiding, is not a happy vamp-camper.

CHOSEN (G)-- Caleb springs back to life and Buffy has to kill him sincerely dead. Angel volunteers to join the final battle. but since this is the last episode of BUFFY and he still has a couple more seasons to go, she has to cobble together a reason for the Original Soulful Vampire to fight on some other front. Angel does leave behind an occult trinket he acquired in one of his episodes, which plays into Spike's big moment here. Later, following a colloquy with jealous Spike-- whose jealousy really doesn't have any effect on the story-- Buffy goes to sleep but is awakened when the First Evil shows up again, trying to undermine her confidence. Buffy then gets, as out of the blue, an inspiration as to how to win this unwinnable war. It might've been more logical if she was inspired by something that the Guardian told her, but Whedon doesn't even like his positive authority-figures. So Buffy and her army return to the high school, where a pandemonium of super-vamps plan to swarm forth to devastate the Earth. Willow uses "the essence of the scythe" to change the male-determined rule of "only one Slayer in the world at a time" to "every girl in the world who might be a Slayer will be a Slayer." Thie spell empowers all the Potentials and gives them the edge to fight the vamps on an even footing. For whatever reason, Anya does not survive the final battle (I personally wouldn't have minded losing Giles instead). Spike's amulet infuses him with enough supernatural power to close the Hellmouth for all time, costing him his undead life, at least until he returns in ANGEL. The closing of the Hellmouth also turns Sunnydale into a deep pit, seemingly assuring that no dopey mortals will ever seek to live their again, while Buffy and her troops escape, appropriately enough, on a school bus. For all the budgetary limitations of TV, and for all the script-shortcomings, CHOSEN is one of the few times a television show succeeded in delivering an epic battle-fantasy. particularly one devoted to the theme of female empowerment.