MARRIED WITH CHILDREN: "THE BALD AND THE BEAUTIFUL" (1989)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *naturalistic* 
MYTHICITY: *poor*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *comedy*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *psychological*   

Though Season 3 is generally the season in which MARRIED WITH CHILDREN found its raunchy voice, there were still a fair number of episodes that weren't much better than some of the lesser "absurd comedy" shows from around the same time, like 1991's HERMAN'S HEAD. In fact, with a little rewriting, "The Bald and the Beautiful" probably could have aired as an episode of a bland-com like the sixties DONNA REED SHOW. The main conflict is that both Al and neighbor Steve become obsessed with the possibility of losing their hair. They don't solve this problem, but they get their spirits bolstered when they compare themselves to fully bald guys.

The only noteworthy aspects of "Bald" are a couple of scenes between Bud and Kelly. The demon-children have of course been at each other's throats for the previous seasons, but "Bald" emphasizes Kelly's role as a tormentor for her brother just as Peg exists to torture Al (though Al gets off pretty easy in general in this tale). After Bud is informed that he shares his father's genes and will probably also lose his hair in adulthood, he plaintively asks if his parents had him as a "biological experiment." Kelly teases him relentlessly, and none of his jibes about her promiscuity can compensate for his genetic doom. After Kelly fakes pulling a big clump of hair from Bud's head, and he runs off, Kelly has the following exchange with her mother, who's been watching the prank.

KELLY: "Mom, you don't mind that I'm playing with Bud, do you?"

PEG: "No! That's why we had him!"      

This one good line in a routine story provides a foretaste of the many variations on male/female antagonism that will appear in future seasons, and that trope, more than anything else, makes MARRIED one of the most mythic American sitcoms.