THE MASTER OF DISGUISE (2002)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *uncanny*
MYTHICITY: *poor*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *comedy*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *sociological*

In addition to DISGUISE being a box office flop, it's been deemed one of "the most painfully unfunny comedies ever made." While there were probably a lot of reasons for the film's misfire, I don't think its worst problem was being a loose assemblage of jokes, since a lot of successful comedies have extremely loose plotlines. 

The worst problem IMO stems from not investing any attention to the story's core concept. Pistachio Disguisey (Dana Carvey) lives an ordinary life in modern-day New York until his father and mother are kidnapped. Pistachio's grandfather then reveals a family secret kept hidden from Pistachio since his birth: that the Disguiseys belong to an ancient order that uses a familial "master of disguise" to bring about justice. This in itself is not that bad a concept: more or less crossing the concept of Lee Falk's PHANTOM with the idea of a chameleon-hero. But actor/writer Carvey couldn't just stick with having the Disguiseys fight justice in the style of Phantom-type heroes-- as Pistachio's father (James Brolin) is seen doing at the film's opening, turning himself into Bo Derek to catch a crook. Instead, he too often succumbs to dopey japes in the fashion of his successful work in the WAYNES WORLD series, like claiming that in the 1860s a Disguisey masqueraded as Abraham Lincoln to help Honest Abe win the Presidency. Because Carvey didn't make his premise even slightly logical, the whole concept unravels.

The international criminal Bowman (Brent Spiner), the fellow put in prison by Pistachio's father, seeks revenge by forcing the elder Disguisey to commit crimes with his abilities, while holding Pistachio's mother hostage. Pistachio's grandfather (Harold Gould) reveals to Pistachio his heritage, but doesn't think the kidnapping of his son important enough to participate in any rescues himself. What we get are protracted sequences of lumbering humor about the training-process, which among other things, includes the idea that the Disguiseys only fight by slapping their opponents. There's a vague claim that at some point Pistachio may become overtaken by some weird mental symbiosis with the people he impersonates, but this comes to absolutely nothing.

Pistachio himself seems pretty laid-back about rescue-plans, so much so that he finds time to engage an assistant in his endeavors (Jennifer Esposito). Romance of course blooms over time, though for once the male protagonist doesn't instantly fall for the gorgeous lead actress, for reasons I'll go into later. Esposito's character quite naturally considers Pistachio a geek, albeit one who pays well, but she's eventually won over when he uses his arcane slap-fighting to take down a bully. The assistant helps keep Pistachio on track and guides him to Bowman's estate, though she herself gets kidnapped. Pistachio uses his disguise-powers to take different identities, including that a human-sized cherry pie that can spit cherries at assailants, but he gets his act together to beat down Bowman's troop of ninjas and save both his parents and his new girl.

It's painful to dwell on most of MASTER's labored jokes, but only one comes close to working. The reason Pistachio doesn't immediately go gaga over his assistant is because he's Italian, and he's culturally programmed to want potential mates to have big butts, unlike the svelte-bodied Esposito. Somehow Bowman knows of this proclivity, and as a backup defense he unleashes on the hero a squad of "big booty girls." Pistachio has to resist his natural instincts in order to choose his non-steatopygous girl over this threat. But even though this was one of the few jokes that evolved out of character, it was excluded from the main story and included within the inter-credit bonus material.