SUPERMANSION SEASON TWO (2017)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous* 
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *comedy*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *psychological, sociological*

The season starts with the mansion and Robobot rebuilt, and the reference in the last episode to "new candidates" for the League of Freedom is blown off in one joke. Season Two does reach out to the former member (and Wonder Woman analogue) Zenith, a celestial goddess who shares the body of a mortal talk-show host Oprah W-- I mean, Portia Jones. The fugitive Injustice Club figures into more plots this season. but the only ones worth mentioning are Devizo, Groaner. and Lex Lightning, still full of passionate hate for Titanium Rex but no longer inclined to morph into a male version of herself. Curiously, though she was ostensibly raised by Devizo, there's nearly no sense that the two of them have ever had a father-daughter relationship.

VIRTUAL REALITY BLUES (G)-- Cooch misses Brad, so when Ranger tells her Brad's in heaven, she wants to become a Christian to join him, but she gets hinky about baptismal immersion. When Saturn learns Groaner's alive, he crushes hard on his nemesis, resulting in many embarrassing moments.  More importantly for ongoing plotlines, Devizo steals a computer file containing Rex's greatest secret, and when Rex descends into a VR world to recover the file, Devizo and Lex are waiting for him. To Rex's good fortune, a rendezvous between Saturn and Groaner crosses his path in VR and a goofy ime is had by all.

SCHOOL ME ONCE-- Rex plots to get Zenith back on the team, and that leads the League to "go back to school," i.e., the university of which Ranger and Saturn are alums. Saturn's old frat is ashamed of him, while Cooch is enlisted to be the school mascot. The upshot is that Portia does rejoin the League, but mainly to help the heroes upgrade their tarnished reputation.

THE LEAGUE OF CHEESEDOM-- Portia's first move is to use the League's images to merchandize a pizza place, "the League of Cheesedom," on the advice of her boytoy Courtney. Ranger becomes attracted to Portia when she scolds him and Saturn gets Groaner to perform on stage. Menace arises when Robobot, who's taken on the persona of a rebellious teenager, reprograms a band of animatronic robots, who promptly go berserk. Best line:

ROBOBOT: "I thought I'd found a family, but they ended up being bloodthirsty monsters." 

REX: "That's pretty much every family."

I DON'T EVEN HAVE TO USE MY J.K.-- With Portia's encouragement, Oscar winning actor J.K. Simmons floats the idea of a Titanium Rex movie, but only if Rex is willing to reveal his deepest secrets. It's all a Devizo plot, which goes a lot better than Lex's short-lived takeover of the Injustice Club. Lex has her first meeting with Rex since he shot her in the face, and it's an ambivalent encounter.

 

BLACK TO THE FUTURE (G)-- This one's a knowing satire of time-travel stories like X-MEN's "Days of Future Past." A future-version of Black Saturn changes places with the current version and he warns that his era will be turned into a hellscape by Gamora. the spawn of Zenith and American Ranger. The League must prevent the two of them from procreating in the current era. There's a brief scene showing Zenith's paradisical all-female domain. Good payoffs on all plotlines this time.

BLAZARMAGGEDON (G)-- The villain Blazar was devolved to a monkey earlier, but it turns out that Blazar was an alien herald of a Galactus-sized humanoid, Asteros, who plans to destroy Earth. For once Ranger gets the best plotline, as he goes space-mad at the meaninglessness of the cosmos.

THE GURMAN FILES (G)-- Two sex-heavy plotlines diverge here. In one, Ranger wants his wife to sign their divorce papers, and to that end he and Portia seek out Gloria at a fetish-convention, leading to Dueling Dominatrixes. In the other, Black Saturn tries to go solo (albeit with Courtney as a sidekick) to solve the mystery of kidnapped 1970s models. Rex, who is to some extent a father-substitute for Saturn, falls under suspicion because he knew the models in his youth. With the League's help, Saturn finds the kidnapper and his victims, but also that one of the models is his own mother, and that Rex boned her numerous times.

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT LIPLOR (G)-- Rex's big secret is revealed to the public and the League-- that he came to the surface looking for new worlds for his people, the Subtopians, to conquer. Rex let his people think him dead so that he could use his powers to protect humans (and to chase tail). But now Rex's older brother Dax reaches the surface with his rock-monster slave. Dax is disgusted that Rex didn't use his beacon to summon an invasion-force, so he takes the initiative. Rex and the freed slave defeat Dax, but now the government deems Rex an enemy agent. To protect his friends, Rex pretends complicity and flees.

LOGS DAY JOURNEY INTO NIGHT (G)-- Rex takes the identity of a lumberjack to conceal himself but still finds himself forced to battle injustice. The other heroes have been forbidden to crusade, but it turns out that Dax managed to send a message to his people. Robobot deduces that because Lex stole the anti-magno rod from the mansion, the League must make common cause with the Club. Unfortunately, Devizo has the rod now, and he seeks out Rex. In addition, the Subtopians reach the surface.

TITANIUM LEX (G)-- Within a short space of time, the Subtopians conquer Storm City while holding off all counterattacks from the government. Both the League and the Club are in hiding, and Devizo brings Rex back to the city for his own reasons. Devizo shows off the anti-magno rod and announces that they need more of the element to repel the invaders. Despite lots of bungling by the heroes and villains, Lex acquires the needed ordnance-- and though she plans to leave Rex to the mercies of his evil brother, she can't resist returning to save her dad, killing her Uncle Dax. Rex almost sacrifices himself in the stratagem that banishes the Subtopians, but Lex rescues him again, and agrees to join the League, but under her mew name, Titanium Lex. But more trouble for Season 3 looms, as Doctor Devizo is put in charge of the heroes' future.

WAR ON CHRISTMAS-- Cooch, who believes in Santa Claus, releases from captivity an evil imp, Skibumpers (a clear analogue of Mxyzptlk). The elf grants Cooch's wish to make Santa real, forcing the League to cope with the chaos. This and one other special were filmed before Season Two, so Portia and Courtney don't appear, though on streaming the specials are lumped in with the second season.

DRAG ME TO HALLOWEEN-- In this Halloween offering, Ranger is almost seduced by a sexy ghost, Robobot is "possessed" by malware, and Cooch uncovers a malevolent dentist. The best plot involves Saturn and Groaner trying to score at a Halloween party, with more homoeroticism resulting.                         

  

SUPERMANSION SEASON ONE (2015)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous* 
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *comedy*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *psychological, sociological*

At first glance SUPERMANSION, a stop-motion animation series launched on the defunct service Crackle, might seem to be in exactly the same vein as Cartoon Network's acidulous ROBOT CHICKEN. Both of MANSION's creators had CHICKEN associations, with Matthew Senreich billed as the CHICKEN co-creator while Zeb Wells worked on the CN program in assorted creative capacities. Further, CHICKEN frequently used superhero-themed blackout gags that revealed the writers' geek-level knowledge of superhero comics, while MANSION is obviously about nothing but superheroes. However, I consider CHICKEN an irony and MANSION a comedy, and I define the difference here as being the degree to which the characters' world is effed up.

 MANSION's main focus is to bombard the viewer with sexy/slapsticky jokes about the six superheroes, the League of Freedom, who watch over Storm City and/or the world. The humor's crude but inventive, and most episodes are at least fair in mythicity (I've used "G" to denote the ones rising to the "good" level). The League members all derive from well-traveled genre tropes, to wit:

TITANIUM REX-- the League's leader and the "Superman" of the group, though he arrived in Storm City not from outer space but from a civilization beneath the surface. He came to the surface world as a young man but as he's old now, implicitly he's been a superhero for some forty years.

COOCH-- a former housecat evolved into a feline humanoid. Drawn from various heroes with animal-like characteristics, like both Spider-Man and Spider-Woman.

BRAD-- A mountainous crusader who, like many other heroes who are enhanced through chemistry, only has power as long as he takes steroids.

BLACK SATURN-- A thorough parody of Batman, Saturn is conceited and stupid, sounds like a whiny baby most of the time, and has recurring encounters with a Joker-like villain, "the Groaner," which relationship eventually turns homoerotic.

ROBOBOT-- A spoof of android heroes like Vision and Red Tornado, constantly questioning his identity due to his artificial origins. In Season One he converts to Judaism and takes the name Jewbot.

AMERICAN EAGLE-- A super-patriotic WWII hero in the mold of Captain America, and one who, like the Captain, got unnaturally preserved for decades until reaching modern times. This is the weakest character, used almost exclusively to assert that his patriotism is infused with racial and religious chauvinism.

GROANER'S WILD-- Rex's irresponsible teammates have abused the League's government budget so badly that a governmental bean-counter, Sgt Agony, is assigned to rein the heroes. Saturn's dialogue with the Groaner establishes the hero's pathetic need for the validation of an "arch nemesis."

THEY SHOOT OMEGA PETS, DON'T THEY? -- The League comes across what seem to be amiable super-pets, but the name "Omega" suggests their nefarious nature.

LET'S TALK ABOUT REX-- Despite Rex's many powers, including a titanium hand that can morph into various weapons, his battle with the villain Blazar makes the public wonder if the hero isn't too old for superheroing. Despite many age-jokes, Rex does get a little validation from his team of goofballs.

A SHOP IN THE DARK-- Rex invites the Defense Secretary for dinner at the Mansion to wangle a higher budget from the government. Rex thinks the deal's sealed because as a teen the Secretary was the kid sidekick of American Ranger, but of course everything goes wrong with the dinner. At least when it's revealed that the Secretary is a gay man, his relationship with Ranger remains platonic.

PUSS IN BOOKS-- The terminally distracted Cooch must pass a college-level test to stay in the League. 

LEX (G)-- A hot young costumed woman, Lex Lightning, shows up at the Mansion asking for Rex, and the geriatric bladesman assumes it's a groupie. Instead she shows him her titanium hand and claims to be the offspring of one of his many hookups. Since Rex doesn't know what the name "Lex" means in another super-universe, he tries to bond with Lex, endeavoring to teach her how to fly-- though he also runs out on her, showing his paternal reluctance.        

A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S REAM-- Jewbot experiments with his feminine side, Saturn goes clubbing, and three Leaguers get trapped by an evil gym membership. 

BRAD MEDICINE-- The company that makes Brad's steroids cuts him off, causing him to shrink back to his original size. His friends try to get him back on the sauce.

UNFORTUNATE SON-- Lex gets a look at Saturn's home life, where the latter is always seeking the approval of his uptight parents, who prefer his more practical-minded younger brother Dudley. Jewbot, however, learns that Dudley is a drug dealer.

BABES IN THE WOODS (G)-- Apparently sympathetic to Saturn, Lex plans to have sex with him on a League camping-trip. Saturn is willing but has fears of Rex punishing him for crossing a line. Rex has his own secret, revealing to Ranger that he Rex has been sleeping with Ranger's 80-something wife. Ranger unfriends Rex but still comes to the team's aid against killer hillbillies.

THE INCONCEIVABLE ESCAPE OF DR DEVIZO (G)-- Doctor Devizo, imprisoned in a Mansion cell, informs Rex that he plans to escape. He almost does, only to be thwarted by Lex Lightning, thus making the other Leaguers look bad. Ranger, having tasked his elderly wife with her infidelity, plans to commit his own transgression, but his plans go astray.

LEXANITY (G)-- Rex won't let Lex join the League, so when another superhero team is formed by a billionaire, she accepts that offer of membership. The highlight is Saturn acting the fool as he tries tp get into the new group-- until the ending, when Jewbot learns a secret about Lex and she chops off his head.

LEX AS A WEAPON (G)-- The Big Reveals: Lex is the bisexual offspring of Rex and one of his old villainess-flames, and since childhood Lex was raised to hate Rex by Devizo. Lex releases the evil doctor and his Injustice Club from their cells and incapacitates all the Leaguers. Devizo plans to unleash the Mansion's nuclear missiles on the world, but Lex becomes frustrated at her inability to torment Saturn with his having slept with a bisexual. She assigns Groaner to torture Saturn, but when Saturn proves to be the only hero who appreciates Groaner's villainy, Groaner releases Saturn, who frees his friends. Rex and Lex have a brief but intense battle on both physical and psychological levels. after which Lex escapes, albeit with her eyes (temporarily) burned out. Further, Brad ends up sacrificing his life to save the world. This probably stands as the show's best episode, dependent though it is in other continuity. 

IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER, OF THE SON, AND OF THE COLT (1971)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *uncanny* 
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *psychological*

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

My review of CREEPING DEATH mentioned that writer-director Mario Bianchi had a long cinematic career, but not that most of it was in sex-films. However, according to IMDB his first two directorial efforts were "weird westerns." Neither of the oaters is all that great, but the first one is a little better-- and since Bianchi didn't contribute to COLT's script as he did to that of DEATH, I might be tempted to fault his writing-- if I didn't know Bianchi had also contributed to the script of Riccardo Freda's flawed but interesting TRAGIC CEREMONY.

  The script for COLT, in contrast to that of DEATH, might be unfocused. but it's better in terms of giving the viewer lots of cowpoke creepiness. The film starts as a stagecoach is held up by bandits dressed as saloon girls, who are under the command of outlaw Wace Cassidy (expatriate American actor Craig Hill). Two passengers Mister Pick and his daughter Toni (Francisco Sanz, Agata Lys) get special attention, with Pick forced to watch Cassidy rape Toni.

Four years later (though Bianchi takes his sweet time in establishing that fact) as the action moves to (and thereafter stays in) the cow-town where Sheriff Bill Nolan (also Hill) hangs his hat. He's been sheriff for some time, married to one Clarissa, but no one's noticed his uncanny resemblance to Cassidy, and when a wanted poster for Cassidy comes Nolan's way, he conceals it. Is the noble-seeming sheriff leading a double life?

Somehow I doubt Bianchi really expected viewers to buy an idea he barely bothered to sell, so he rather quickly reveals that Nolan and Cassidy are twins, and Nolan changed his name to distance himself from his evil brother. But Cassidy isn't the main menace here. It just so happens that it's Halloween (did anyone in the Old West celebrate the haunted holiday?) and that makes it easier for a mysterious, leather-masked plotter to move about. Some reviewers have seen "The Masked Thief" (as an alternate title for the film calls him) as an early slasher/giallo type. But though the Thief kills a couple of people, he has more in common with the masked masterminds of serials. He manipulates Nolan and Cassidy into almost killing each other-- I *think* in order to rip off a bank-- but when Nolan unmasks the Thief after a lively battle, I doubt anyone will care, any more than I did, when the mastermind's ID is revealed.

Bianchi blows a lot of potentially good subplots, as when Pick and Toni come to town to accuse the sheriff of Toni's rape and then largely disappear from the story. One might expect Clarissa to have a scene or two of emotional torment, but that expectation would be wrong. One reviewer liked Hill's Cassidy, but I thought he was too comically eee-vil, while Nolan was more suitably heroic. Still, COLT-- the title I've chosen to use here, just because it sounds cool despite meaning next to nothing-- is never dull, which is more than I could say about CREEPING DEATH.

                       

EROTIC GHOST STORY 3 (1992)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous* 
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *metaphysical, sociological*

This was the final official film in this franchise, and since the Big Bad of the first two films went to heaven at the end of EGS #2, it behooved the new raconteurs to devise a new way of combining spirits with Category III sexcapades. It's a shame the filmmakers didn't apply themselves a bit more, since the setup here was a little more promising than those of the first to movies.

Male and female leads Chu and Susu (Ching-wah Cheung, Chik King-man) are quickly established. The two medieval-era youths have been betrothed to one another by Chu's father, but though Susu is more than willing, Chu is not. She follows Chu to an inn and is almost raped because the martial skills of Susu are only so-so. Chu rescues Susu and they later seek shelter at a deserted temple. There they meet a man the size of a candlewick, which is apparently the reason he sports the name "Wick." Once Wick grows to man-size, the duo learns that he's a Buddhist monk (and the movie's comedy relief). 

An hour or so later, viewers see why Chu doesn't want to get married, when a painting comes to life and shows the young fellow three gorgeous dancing-girls. Evidently Chu is so eager to play the field, he's willing to enter a supernatural otherworld to get his ashes hauled. Even more improbably, Wick helps Chu do so.

Althiugh Chu does have great sex with the sexy ghost I-meng (Pauline Chan), his allurement is a plot by the otherworld's queen "Ladyship" (Chi Jing Wen). After having sex Chu visits the queen's court, and in bursts a male Chinese god (possibly) who rapes two of the females. Chu's too drunk to fight, but a little later he invades the god's domicile and kills him. But then Ladyship reveals that she made herself look like the god so that Chu would seek vengeance. With the god dead, Ladyship can do whatever she likes to mortals, which she demonstrates by raping the young man.

However, I-meng has fallen for her handsome bedmate, and both Susu and Wick are endeavoring to return Chu to the mortal world. Amusingly, at one point Susu and Wick succeed in getting Chu back to the temple, but Wick tells Susu that the only way Chu cam recover from sickness is if Susu has sex with his unconscious form. Whatever else one says about EGS 3, its script supports Equal Opportunity for Female Rapists. In due course, Chu, Susu and I-meng (with some "inside help" from Wick) destroy the evil queen. Susu is wounded and dies, but thanks to some double-talk from the monk, somehow I-meng becomes human and goes back to the living world for lots more sex.

When I started the film I was almost sure Chu and Susu would be the eminent heroes, but Chu and I-meng turned out to be "the pair whose love transcends death itself," a la CHINESE GHOST STORY. EGS 3 isn't a great film, even of its kind. But its characters are reasonably well delineated and the scenes of wacky comedy don't overwhelm the story.     

MAN ON THE SPYING TRAPEZE (1966)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *uncanny* 
MYTHICITY: *poor*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *sociological*

This Eurospy cheapie has only two minor things going for it: a couple of familiar actors and a memorable if meaningless English-language title. FWIW, it seems to be the only English translation of a film by Spanish director Juan de Orduna.

American agent Jerry Land (Wayde Preston of the TV western COLT .45) gets to traipse around various Euro-locales seeking to find a missing microfilm and the spy ring that stole it. He has various punch-ups with enemy spies-- for once, independent operators rather than loyalists to particular nations-- and romances a pretty brunette played by Helga Sommerfeld. Preston's decent in the fight-scenes but doesn't project much cool, despite a colleague playfully calling him "James Bond."

The sole metaphenomenal content here appears when Land is captured by thugs led by Noe (DR SATAN AND BLACK MAGIC) Murayama, who attempts to make the agent talk by squeezing his head with metal rods.     

  

SMALLVILLE SEASON 3: 20-22 (2004)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous* 
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *cosmological, psychological*

"Talisman" provides a belated linkage back to the ancestral Kawache story of Naman and Sageeth, implicitly a good and an evil Kryptonian who came to Earth in primeval times. Kawache historian Willowbrook, first seen in "Skinwalker," believes not only that the two man-gods have been reborn in modern times, but also that Clark is the "good god" Naman. Yet Willowbrook keeps in contact with Lionel in order to monitor the cave-research, and one day the prof brings to the cave a student named Jeremiah, also a tribal scholar. Jeremiah uncovers a metal knife and touching it both gives the young man Kryptonian powers and the delusion that he is Naman, who is destined to slay Sageeth. 

Clark, aware that Jeremiah is likely to believe he should kill Lionel, draws the possessed man to the Kent farm, hoping to incapacitate the threat with kryptonite. But this time the rock has no effect on an Earthman, possibly because Jeremiah possesses the Kryptonian dagger, with which he stabs Clark. The heroic teen only survives because the Kents show up, and the power Jor-El instilled in Jonathan heals Clark. Recovering, both Clark and Lex show up on the scene when the fake Naman tries to slay Lionel. Neither Lionel or Lex behold Clark battle Jeremiah, but when Jeremiah loses both the knife and his powers (after which he's never seen again), both Luthors try to seize the weapon. But it dissolves, as was destined to occur if Sageeth touched the blade. Is one of these Earthmen "Naman's great enemy?"

"Forsaken" centers on a running subplot from the last few episodes: that of Lana deciding to study art in Paris. (Was she artistically inclined before this arc?) However, though Clark hopes to dissuade her from leaving Smallville by finally revealing his Big Secret, Emily Dinsmore gets to Lana first. While in Lionel's custody since the events of "Accelerate," the clone-girl has aged roughly nine years in eleven months, and she uses her speed-powers to escape captivity. She kills her scientist-"father" and imprisons Lana in the Talon in the belief that they can be best friends forever. Clark puts the skids on the super-speed girl with the clever use of a water tower, but the situation also causes Clark to change his mind about the revelation. The final season episode will make it doubtful that any of the regulars will return, but "Forsaken" has Pete Ross forsake Smallville a little earlier, only returning for one much later guest appearance in Season Seven.

   The title "Covenant" refers to the bargain Jonathan made with the AI: that, in exchange for empowering the farmer during "Exile," Jonathan would facilitate Clark returning to Jor-El, possibly to be molded into some sort of world-conqueror. "Covenant " focuses on the devil calling in his marker-- though Jor-El's methods are bizarre, given that "he" hasn't made an explicit demand of Jonathan. A "supergirl" named Kara shows up on the farm, claiming to be from Krypton and offering Clark the chance to be united with his birth mother, of whom he had a fragmentary recollection in "Memoria." The elder Kents don't buy Kara's tale, but Clark's been through the sturm-and-drang mill, and Kara contributes to the youth's desire for "exile" (AGAIN?) by making Lex seem a betrayer. Clark follows Kara to a rendezvous, but Jonathan shows up with evidence that Kara is either a dead Earth-girl revived by Jor-El or a simulation thereof. Still, a threat to Jonathan's life accomplishes the same end, and Clark enters the AI's dimensional doorway, while most of the rest of the cast lies in peril from the vengeance of Lionel Luthor. Who will return in Season Four? Stay tuned.       
          

SMALLVILLE SEASON 3: 17-19 (2004)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous* 
MYTHICITY: (1) *good*, (2,3) *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *cosmological, psychological*

Finally, in "Legacy," Season Three wanders back to the still-mysterious designs of the Jor-El AI, left unaddressed since "Exile." In a few previous episodes the writers suggested that Jonathan's health has suffered from Jor-El's "power boost," and Clark becomes concerned enough that he takes the Krypton-Key to the Kawache Caves, trying to draw out the AI for a heart-to-heart. But the key's only response is to send forth a ray that carves a new aperture in the wall with the Kryptonian symbols. Critically-ill Lionel, though, gets alerted by his agents re: Clark's cave-trespass, and somehow arrives in time to behold Clark and the "new keyhole," but not the key in Clark's possession.

Lionel doesn't reference the Adam Knight failure, but clearly he ups his investigation of the Kents, even sending bogus FBI agents to the farm, because he seeks a reprieve. He also meets with Virgil Swann (Christopher Reeve in his final performance), and the enigmatic genius reveals nothing, though he lends Lionel some conditional aid. This motivates Clark to confront Swann, thus also providing the show's last encounter between "Superman" and "Superboy." Jonathan makes an effort to end Lionel's threat, and Clark must intervene. It's a solid "mythology" episode, though I suspect the many SMALLVILLE mysteries don't have a payoff much better than LOST.

"Truth" turns out better than its premise suggests. Demon journalist Chloe inhales an experimental gas and acquires the power to make almost anyone answer her questions with complete truthfulness. Clark alone can resist her power, but Chloe becomes drunk with her new abilities. Naturally most of the episode concerns characters managing to dance around the Big Reveal, though Chloe does play dice with the devil when she tries to blackmail Lionel.

"Memoria" puts aside one Luthor's obsession for another's, as Lionel's struggle to avert death takes a back seat to Lex's quest for his repressed Belle Reve memories. To that end, he accepts treatment by Doctor Garner, one of Smallville's many resident mad scientists, who stimulates buried memories via a machine powered by-- what else-- meteor rocks. Both Lionel and Clark don't want Lex's memories to return, but while Lionel just puts pressure on Garner, Clark beards the rogue researcher in his den. Garner sticks Clark in the memory-machine, offering the teen's memories to willing buyer Lionel, but even after kryptonite weakening Clark's body generates enough feedback to destroy the machine. Lex then arrives in time to save Clark's life without learning the Big Secret. Yet Garner's process does give Lex closure on a trauma dating back to the show's first season: the belief that he killed his baby brother Julian. It's a good payoff for a so-so story.