MEATBALLS 2 (1984), MEATBALLS 3 (1986)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous* 
MYTHICITY: (1) *poor*, (2) *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *comedy*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *psychological*

I've only seen all three MEATBALLS films once before, but I decided to revisit 2 and 3 simply because both, unlike the first film, boasted a little metaphenomenal content.

The writers followed the same "battling kids' camps" as the first film, but with two new camps that share the same lake and a more overt concentration on absurd farce. Richard Mulligan runs a more or less normal camp, while Hamilton Camp administers a bizarre "military youth" camp. The two have been contending for years in an annual boxing match, and Mulligan invites a tough street-kid named Flash to be the camp's champion. Flash is uninterested until he catches sight of a pretty young thing (Kim Richards), whom he hopes to impress. There's really not as much sex as one might expect of this sort of cheesy sequel. The other camp-girls, borrowing from 1981's PORKY'S, lay plans to expose the innocent girl to her first sight of a "pinky." Also, a couple of randy camp counselors keep trying to hook up, with the female counselor played by Misty "HEE HAW" Rowe. Other thesps include Paul Reubens in four separate "blink-and-miss-him" roles and John Larouquette as a swishy soldier.

The sole fantasy-element is an extremely lame ET swipe, where the kid-alien enters the camp's activities at his parents' behest and bonds with all the younger kids, who are only too happy to have their own ET mascot. The alien, dubbed "Meathead," does a few unimpressive telekinetic tricks and is played by Felix Silla.

By comparison MEATBALLS 3, though also an absurd farce, benefits from jettisoning the whole camp-competition schtick. It starts with porn-star Roxy Dujour (Sally Kellerman, getting a rare shot at a main character since her career took a downward turn). Roxy is apparently having real sex on one of her flicks, and it's so good she bites the big one. She ends up at St. Peter's Gate, where the official there says Heaven doesn't have a problem with sex workers. But still Ms. Dujour (named for the 1967 Bunuel film BELLE DUJOUR?) has to prove herself-- and for some reason, sex-friendly Heaven wants Roxy to help a nerd named Rudy get laid. If Roxy can't do so by a certain time, it's off to the hot place for her.

Rudy (Patrick Dempsey) is seen bidding farewell to his clingy mother as he departs for a new job at a lakeside camp. All the camp's customers are teenagers or older, and one other employee is a girl, Wendy (Isabelle Mejias), who's a nerd like Rudy but whose affection Rudy cannot perceive. Rudy is relentlessly teased by hot girls and guys, though oddly enough, he does NOT make one particular same-age enemy, which happens in most teen sex comedies. Instead, Rudy's enemy is an older guy, a boisterous, middle-aged biker named Mean Gene (George Buza), though this opposition isn't immediately evident. Mean Gene bullies Rudy a little and allows other customers to bully the low-level employee. But everyone at the camp steers clear of Mean Gene, He's noteworthy for keeping a woman-- presumably his wife-- confined in a upstairs room in Mean Gene's domicile, and for going ballistic on anyone who even looks at "The Love Goddess" (Shannon Tweed) longer than Gene thinks appropriate.

 It doesn't take Roxy long to convince Rudy that she's a real ghost, and that she's come into his life to help him score. Roxy's willing to let Rudy do her, but since she's insubstantial, that's not an option. So she gets Rudy to clean up his look and act less like a nerd, and at first she's doing her best to get the youth laid any way she can. But the longer she's in Rudy's orbit, the more Roxy starts to care about him, and to notice that the age-appropriate Wendy would be the best match. So she uses her power of telekinesis to cock-block the boy when he tries to get it on with another age-appropriate girl (but one with a loose attitude) and also with an older female. Rudy gets tired of her interference and tells her she's just like his mother, which pisses Roxy off. She gets summoned back to Heaven for a reminder of the fate that awaits her if Rudy doesn't get his cherry popped.

Independent of Rudy, a bunch of raucous teens learn that Mean Gene's going to be away for a time, so they make a huge party out of inviting a famous "stud" to seduce the Love Goddess. Rudy, fed up with Mean Gene's bullying, attempts to take the stud's place. This leads to a goofy fight when the biker comes back, though I'll give away one schtick: the Love Goddess is not Gene's wife but his married sister, and so he's simply an overprotective brother. The Goddess intervenes on behalf of Rudy by conking Gene with a baseball bat, though of course she doesn't have sex with Rudy either.

In the end, Roxy does return to Earth to help Rudy hook up with the still-willing Wendy. Apparently, even though Rudy does not get laid by movie's end, apparently Heaven lets Roxy off the hook, since she does get into the Pearly Gates and everyone's happy. Though it's a dopey teen comedy, I did feel the main characters played Kellerman and Dempsey had good chemistry and made the movie more fun than it would've been without those actors. 

                              

DOUBLE AGENT 73 (1974)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *uncanny* 
MYTHICITY: *poor*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *sociological*

I'll start by picking on the title of this infamous dog. Yes, everyone knows that that the "73" denotes the size of the knockers sported by star Chesty Morgan, and I suppose the "double" is thrown in to remind the intended audience that there were a whole *TWO* 73-inch breasts on display throughout much of this micro-budgeted production.

But the exploitative title provides more amusement than most of the script for AGENT, co-written by director Doris Wishman. A "double agent" is expressly a agent of one government who infiltrates another such agency, pretending to be loyal to the second group while actually funneling intel back to the agent's original employer. But that's not the case with Morgan's character Jane Tennay (IMDB claims it's Jean Genet, which I think must be someone's inside joke, but probably not Doris Wishman's). Jane is just an "agent." Her employers want to find out who's smuggling in drugs with aid from the Communists, so they give Jane a list of suspects. The entire plot involves Jane going from place to place and becoming acquainted with the suspects in order to suss out their criminal endeavors. In practice, though, Jane always fails to fool her targets, and there's some violence, with Jane managing to kill her opponents. Frankly, it would have made more sense if Jane's agency had just directed her to kill off all these crooked types, since she ends up playing the role of assassin anyway.

But if she was just an assassin, she wouldn't have need the gimmick that obliges Jane to expose her mammoth mammaries every 15 minutes. The agency somehow sticks a mini-camera into her boobs, and every time she kills or at least incapacitates a foe, she takes his picture with her tit-cam. Again, the info doesn't really seem to do the agency much good when they get it at picture's end, and certainly doesn't justify the bosses installing a self-destruct device in the camera, one that will destroy the evidence and keep Jane from falling into enemy hands. To be sure, Jane returns to her bosses before this happens, but she does not seem to resent the strategy in any way.

Wishman's gimmicks, by the way, were the only thing that interested me in reviewing this dull flick. Her tit-cam doesn't qualify as a diabolical device, but her cut-rate arsenal-- including am exploding lipstick and a spiked earring she can fling to kill an opponent, as with a shuriken-- certainly make the grade. She even has what appears to be an "acetylene ring," for when she's tied up in her last encounter with the main villain, she uses *something* to burn off her ropes. These weapons are the only things that mark Jane as a combative type, for there's no indication that Jane can fight. To be sure, no one else in the movie can fight either-- and that's probably because the exigencies of fight choreography would have strained the film's budget. (Jane does stun a guy by hitting him with a tit, though.) 

But there's no similar excuse for the banal dialogue, or for Wishman's over-reliance on extreme close-ups to cover for the fact that so little is happening. The sex scenes are brief and mediocre, as if Wishman was convinced that the near-constant display of the Size 73's was her film's only selling-point. She showed the same attitude in her only other film with Morgan, the earlier DEADLY WEAPONS, which I'll probably never review because it was even duller than AGENT, not to mention purely naturalistic. Of course, no one in the movie can act worth a damn, but since Morgan is the star, her deficiencies take center stage. Further, her sagging boobs aren't likely to inspire lust in any but the most breast-fixated. 

It's a shame that there were never that many female superspies in cinema, but Chesty Morgan adds nothing to their ranks. AGENT isn't amusing enough to be "so bad it's good," but I suppose it's interesting to wonder why Wishman undertook such a project. I still haven't fully evaluated her repertoire, but AGENT will probably add little luster to any such analysis.  

SUPERMANSION SEASON THREE (2018-9)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous* 
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *comedy*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *psychological, sociological*

The final episode of Season Two set up the gimmick for Season Three. Titanium Lex defied her adoptive father Doctor Devizo by saving Rex from death, but Devizo turned the situation to his advantage. Because Devizo and the Injustice Club helped repel the Subtopian invasion, the government gives the Club permission to move into the Mansion and join the League.

HOME IS WHERE THE SHART IS-- Hijinks ensue as the League and the Club attempt to share living space. Lex acts as liaison since she's been a member of both groups, and her loyalties are still divided. Though she saved Rex's life, she didn't tell him that Devizo betrayed him-- apparently because she still has feelings for her adoptive father. Groaner tries to break things off with Black Saturn but then becomes jealous as Saturn spends more time with his sidekick Ringler (aka Portia's former bf Courtney).

MASTERS OF LEX-- For the first time, Lex treats both Rex and Devizo as her fathers, by trying to provoke them into getting angry/protective when she dates a promiscuous vigilante, Max Penalizer. Robobot starts telling white lies to make life easier and ends up creating a death cult.

MY COUSIN KITTY-- A flashback reveals how Cooch was transformed from a regular cat into a cat-humanoid and how Rex took her into the League. Now Cooch's original owner sues to get back Cooch (and for $1 million damages), so Robobot becomes a lawyer by downloading countless David E Kelley TV shows. Groaner, irritated at having been eclipsed by Ringler, plans to expose Saturn's most humiliating secret. Lex is perturbed that aside from Penalizer, no men seem to want to approach her, and even Saturn, the ex she deemed far beneath her, ignores her entirely.  

ILIGA THEIR OWN-- Although Rex manages to get Devizo's team moved to a new location, the villains steal furniture from the Mansion, forcing the heroes to go shopping at the superstore Iliga (parody of Ikea). The man in charge is the League's foe Ivan Whiff, and in addition to selling shoddy furniture he plans to take over the world with Swedish supervillains. One of these villains, Bugula, has a hate for Black Saturn and nearly breaks his back. This is doubly significant because in an earlier episode Saturn pretended to be a Bane-like villain named Mange -- but here the doofus hero gets the treatment the comics-Batman got when Bane busted Batman's spine. In other news, Lex learns from Robobot that her insect-DNA has been emitting pheromones, so that she repels human males. (Again, no mention yet of her bisexuality since Season One.)

BROKEBACK SATURN (G)-- In a first-class spoof of the Batman-Bane comics-storyline, Saturn remains bedridden at the Mansion when a new menace arises. To cope with the menace, the government enlists Ringler to don a suit of super-armor and to become Saturn's replacement-- thus forming a parallel to Brokeback Batman being briefly being replaced by an armored "new Batman." Saturn is aghast to see citizens liking the new Saturn better, and showing more nerve than sense, leaves his sickbed and assumes the Mange ID, the better to trick Ringler into surrendering the armor. As for the threat, at first it looks as if Cooch's purely imaginary tormentors, Irish leprechauns, are real. But the 'chauns (as Cooch calls them) are part of a greater supernatural evil that has possessed Portia Jones, with which the League must grapple in the ensuing episode.

THE LONG CHAUN-- This follow-to "Brokeback Saturn" is the closest thing to a poor episode yet, as the League journeys to the god-realm, occupied by Zenith's people, the leprechauns and assorted fantasy-creatures. Such scenes as Zenith fighting her evil uncle Ridan and Robobot turning human are under-developed, and the only bit that works involves a big finish to Cooch's antipathy to leprechauns.

SUMMER VACATION SPECIAL (G)-- The third special is the best of the five, delivering a fine spoof of Hawaiian vacation stories. Rex meets a retired Barack Obama, Ranger tries to impress a USO audience with corny old routines, Robobot endures a timeshare, and Black Saturn holds a secret that may allow a shark-man to conquer the surface.

BACK IN BLACK TO THE FUTURE (G)-- A coda to "Black to the Future" posited that even though the League prevented the birth of Gamora, a future version of American Ranger will become just as much of a tyrant. At the end of "Long Chaun," the heroes are flung out of the god-realm into the Tyrant-Ranger. Saturn's dim brain finally realizes that his future self is married to Future Groaner, and Cooch meets "the Bureaucat," a button-down version of herself. But this time the Future-Tyrant isn't what "he" appears to be, for *she* is actually futuristic Titanium Lex, whose insect-DNA has mutated her into a soulless monster. When the League returns to its own time, Lex must figure out how to restrain her evil nature.

OPTIMO REX-- While the League is gone, Sgt Agony uses Rex's DNA to make a Rex clone, Optimo Rex, who's as even-tempered as Rex is cranky. Moreover, Devizo's team has taken over the Mansion, forcing the original League to move into the Club's rundown hovel. Rex takes the downgrade badly and becomes a near-supervillain when he makes a Devizo clone to get even. 

SYMPATHY FOR BLACK SATURN (G)-- Cooch protects the rock-monster Liplor from Devizo, and Robobot tries to help Lex control her transformations. But the A-plot concentrates on two clans of monsters. one of vampires and one of werewolves, seeking to convert Saturn to their cause, in a clever spoof of UNDERWORLD. Courtney gets turned into a vampiric valet. 

 

COMICARNAGE-- The League attends a comics convention, where Rex runs into his previous team, "Da League," who are even lamer than his current heroes. Geek jokes abound, with an odd subplot devoted to David "American Werewolf" Naughton turning into a real wolf-monster.

JUNGLE ALL THE WAY // DEBBIE DOES DEVIZO-- Agony talks the League into playing "Expendables" for a rescue mission on a tropical island. The heroes soon learn that it's a prison for international supervillains, and that one of the prisoners has devised metal gauntlets which harness the powers of numerous criminals. The gauntleted villain is Debbie Devizo, formerly Doctor Devizo's wife, who committed adultery with Rex. For revenge Devizo lured her to the island so that she became part of the prisoner population, becoming tough and embittered. She hates both Rex and Devizo but will leave Rex alone if he allows her to murder Devizo. Lex for her part fears that the only way to stop Devizo is to transform into her mantid self. When she does so, Debbie gets defeated and returned to the island-- but Lex's return to normalcy is only temporary.  

A PRAYER FOR MISTER T-- It's SUPERMANSION's Thanksgiving special. Devizo invites the League to the Mansion, resuming a tradition in which Rex and the Doctor competed to see who could produce the best turkey dinner-- though Rex always cheated by having the Mansion's maid Margery do the cooking. This time Devizo gives Margery the week off, and so Rex overcompensates by injecting his turkey, the titular "Mister T," with steroids, creating a turkey monster that promptly lays a bunch of monster-eggs. In other news, Black Saturn gets dissed by his family when he tries to horn in on their holiday, and Margery makes her first on-screen appearance. 

RUN, RANGER, RUN-- After Lex defeats Debbie Deviso, she goes into hiding to master her insect nature, and Saturn has to cope with Groaner's new girlfriend Harley Qu-- er, Patty Mime. But the A-tale concerns the Russian super-soldier Soviet Slayer to challenge Ranger to a ROCKY IV-like boxing match. Ranger is initially spooked by the Slayer's great power, but during the match he rallies, winning the fight but reaching a "detente" with the Russian. At episode's end, it's revealed that Robobot and Devizo secretly have Lex caged in the basement.

TEACHER AND THE GOOF-- TV executives want to get rid of the titular hosts of a long-running children's education show, so they hire Cooch and Liplor as new additions to the program, whom the executives hope to use to edge out Teach and Goof. But Teach is a fanatic who has got rid of all previous co-hosts, so Rex and Robobot intervene. In a dovetailing plotline, Ranger meets a son he begat back in the forties, meaning that Ranger is faced with a eighty-year-old man.

BACK TO THE ISLAND-- Rex finds out that Devizo and Robobot are seeking to cure Lex, but their only hope is to obtain a "power retardant" invented by Debbie-- whom the Doctor returned back to the prison-island. Cooch and Liplor take over hosting the kids' show, with "Meta-Zenith," a fusion of Zenith and Portia, as a guest. Saturn wangles a position as casting director, so he uses his new authority to invite both Groaner and Patty Mime to audition for the same role. hoping to break them up. When Rex and Devizo reach the island, Debbie-- now an ordinary woman-- removes their powers with the retardant. The three of them ramble down memory lane, revisiting the way Debbie, in her superhero ID of Heartshine, fell in love with Devizo, but also sought love with Rex. But this time, Debbie reveals that her Heartshine-power sapped love from Devizo, so he's not entirely responsible for his villainous career. Nevertheless, Rex booby-traps Debbie and obtains the retardant. However, Agony finds out about Lex's threat, forcing Lex and Robobot to go on the run.

BUG HUNT-- While Robobot and Lex go looking for a cure, the artificial man begins to harbor feelings for Rex's daughter. Rex calls the League together to locate the fugitives, while back at the Mansion Debbie, confined to a cell, seeks to get into Devizo's head. The fugitives find an eccentric horse breeder, whose son has access to the DNA of Lex's dead mother. Lex acquires the DNA but transforms into her monster-self, after which she and Robobot must flee again from Agony's forces. The League shows up, chaos ensues, and all the heroes but Saturn are imprisoned.

SATURN'S SIX-- Agony's forces chase Lex, but she managed to conceal her mother's DNA in Robobot's body, thus putting a potential cure in Devizo's hands. Saturn, seeking to free the League, tries to recruit a team of six liberators, but only gets three others: vampire Courtney, his butler Bunsen, and Commissioner Gomez. Saturn dons the Black Saturn armor, but he's still unable to beat Optimo Rex-- though surprisingly Saturn's overall plan works, freeing the League from prison and Courtney from his vampire status. But Agony and his people launch a killing attack on Lex, causing her to morph into a mantis-monster.

BAD LEX-- While Lex slaughters most of the Agony team, Devizo finishes his "gene ripper," though he's not sure it will save Lex or kill her. Lex's mutation gives her the power to resurrect her victims as "drones," and now Bad Lex plans to extinguish humanity with nuclear bombs. Rex refuses to take the gene ripper with them, but Devizo arranges things so that Debbie follows the League with the weapon. Rex keeps Debbie from shooting Lex, but amid the chaos Debbie's own plan coalesces, forcing Devizo to give up his humanity to save his adoptive daughter. The villains return to normal and leave with Devizo, now in total Luthor-mode, and though Lex is at least dominantly normal, the League mourns its fallen member, Robobot.

WORLD WAR TREE-- SUPERMANSION's last outing, an "Earth Day special produced about half a year after the series finale, has the League (including a conveniently rebuilt Robobot) show at an Earth Day celebration. However, eco-terrorist scientists bring a device that turns three sequoia trees into rampaging monsters, and the trees escape with Cooch. Rex seeks out his old "Da League" member Planetessa because she's a "Captain Planet" refugee and can talk to trees. Instead, Planetessa puts Rex and Lex in contact with Mother Earth, and so Planet Earth is saved, even though the League manages to set the sequoia forest aflame.    
             

        

     
 

EMBRACE OF THE VAMPIRE (1995)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous* 
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *drama*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *metaphysical, sociological*

The first time I watched this softcore erotic-horror item, I found it largely formless, popular only because of TV-star Alyssa Milano put her goods on display. Now, even though parts of EMBRACE are as derivative as a Harlequin romance, the flick feels a bit like a semi-complete jigsaw puzzle.

Though most of the film takes place on a 1990s college campus, a prologue establishes the centuries-old bonafides of The Vampire (Martin Kemp). The bloodsucker never uses a name as such, though centuries ago his human self was "a nobleman." He meets a lover, also unnamed, surrounded by very banal romantic imagery (woman riding on a white charger to meet her swain, reclining in a glade strewn with red blossoms). However, after the woman, a royal maid, has sex with the man, she departs-- and out of the forest come three naked vamp-girls. They perform one un-vampiric ritual-- placing around the guy's neck a chain with an ankh attached-- before gang-fanging him and making him a bloodsucker too. Why do forest-vamps venerate ankhs? That's one of the puzzle pieces, though much later a minor character comments that the Egyptian symbol represents "sexual powers." So in the EMBRACE universe vampires are nothing but carnal sexual desire.

The scene shifts to that nineties college, where The Vampire plots to seduce Charlotte (Milano), the first reincarnation of the nameless maid the vamp once loved. The script can't be bothered to say why the near-immortal nobleman didn't make his still-living love into one of his kind; that would distract from the main scenario. Charlotte is due to turn 18 in three days, which presents the Vampire with a ticking clock. He wants to turn her while she's still virginal, and she's apparently keeping her boyfriend Chris at a distance because she has some ambivalence about having sex before 18. There's a brief remark about Charlotte having been raised at a nunnery, but the root of her ambivalence to sex is not explored. The fact that Charlotte's father is not mentioned might suggest, in a more nuanced movie, that Charlotte suffers from a father-complex, which the Vampire is going to exacerbate-- though again, too many missing puzzle-pieces to render speculation fruitful.

The Vampire also has some rules: he can save himself from an "endless sleep" if he turns this reincarnation of a lost love (which in itself makes the heroine more of a daughter-figure). But he can't attack her; he can only persuade by sending her hallucinatory images. Oh, and an ankh, which Charlotte starts wearing in place of a cross that Chris gave his reluctant paramour. Though the Vampire's mostly seen on his own, he knows some fellow bloodsuckers, as he sends a seductress named Marika (Jennifer Tilly) to cause Chris to sway from the course of true love. He doesn't give up on love, but Charlotte gets more in touch with her Inner Tart.

In the end, true love does win, though none of the three players in the triangle are interesting (while the support-cast is worse). Kemp's been critiqued for an underwhelming performance, but he really had almost nothing to work with, given this ragtag conception of a vampire. Charlotte's not much better, but she does function as the story's eminent presence: sort of a combination of the two females from Stoker's DRACULA. She's sensible, wait-for-marriage Mina getting in touch with her lubricious Lucy. Of course most of the sex-imagery is banal too, but one tends to expect that in DTV offerings.   

                  

SUPERMANSION SEASON TWO (2017)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous* 
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *comedy*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *psychological, sociological*

The season starts with the mansion and Robobot rebuilt, and the reference in the last episode to "new candidates" for the League of Freedom is blown off in one joke. Season Two does reach out to the former member (and Wonder Woman analogue) Zenith, a celestial goddess who shares the body of a mortal talk-show host Oprah W-- I mean, Portia Jones. The fugitive Injustice Club figures into more plots this season. but the only ones worth mentioning are Devizo, Groaner. and Lex Lightning, still full of passionate hate for Titanium Rex but no longer inclined to morph into a male version of herself. Curiously, though she was ostensibly raised by Devizo, there's nearly no sense that the two of them have ever had a father-daughter relationship.

VIRTUAL REALITY BLUES (G)-- Cooch misses Brad, so when Ranger tells her Brad's in heaven, she wants to become a Christian to join him, but she gets hinky about baptismal immersion. When Saturn learns Groaner's alive, he crushes hard on his nemesis, resulting in many embarrassing moments.  More importantly for ongoing plotlines, Devizo steals a computer file containing Rex's greatest secret, and when Rex descends into a VR world to recover the file, Devizo and Lex are waiting for him. To Rex's good fortune, a rendezvous between Saturn and Groaner crosses his path in VR and a goofy time is had by all.

SCHOOL ME ONCE-- Rex plots to get Zenith back on the team, and that leads the League to "go back to school," i.e., the university of which Ranger and Saturn are alums. Saturn's old frat is ashamed of him, while Cooch is enlisted to be the school mascot. The upshot is that Portia does rejoin the League, but mainly to help the heroes upgrade their tarnished reputation.

THE LEAGUE OF CHEESEDOM-- Portia's first move is to use the League's images to merchandize a pizza place, "the League of Cheesedom," on the advice of her boytoy Courtney. Ranger becomes attracted to Portia when she scolds him and Saturn gets Groaner to perform on stage. Menace arises when Robobot, who's taken on the persona of a rebellious teenager, reprograms a band of animatronic robots, who promptly go berserk. Best line:

ROBOBOT: "I thought I'd found a family, but they ended up being bloodthirsty monsters." 

REX: "That's pretty much every family."

I DON'T EVEN HAVE TO USE MY J.K.-- With Portia's encouragement, Oscar winning actor J.K. Simmons floats the idea of a Titanium Rex movie, but only if Rex is willing to reveal his deepest secrets. It's all a Devizo plot, which goes a lot better than Lex's short-lived takeover of the Injustice Club. Lex has her first meeting with Rex since he shot her in the face, and it's an ambivalent encounter.

 

BLACK TO THE FUTURE (G)-- This one's a knowing satire of time-travel stories like X-MEN's "Days of Future Past." A future-version of Black Saturn changes places with the current version and he warns that his era will be turned into a hellscape by Gamora. the spawn of Zenith and American Ranger. The League must prevent the two of them from procreating in the current era. There's a brief scene showing Zenith's paradisical all-female domain. Good payoffs on all plotlines this time.

BLAZARMAGGEDON (G)-- The villain Blazar was devolved to a monkey earlier, but it turns out that Blazar was an alien herald of a Galactus-sized humanoid, Asteros, who plans to destroy Earth. For once Ranger gets the best plotline, as he goes space-mad at the meaninglessness of the cosmos.

THE GURMAN FILES (G)-- Two sex-heavy plotlines diverge here. In one, Ranger wants his wife to sign their divorce papers, and to that end he and Portia seek out Gloria at a fetish-convention, leading to Dueling Dominatrixes. In the other, Black Saturn tries to go solo (albeit with Courtney as a sidekick) to solve the mystery of kidnapped 1970s models. Rex, who is to some extent a father-substitute for Saturn, falls under suspicion because he knew the models in his youth. With the League's help, Saturn finds the kidnapper and his victims, but also that one of the models is his own mother, and that Rex boned her numerous times.

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT LIPLOR (G)-- Rex's big secret is revealed to the public and the League-- that he came to the surface looking for new worlds for his people, the Subtopians, to conquer. Rex let his people think him dead so that he could use his powers to protect humans (and to chase tail). But now Rex's older brother Dax reaches the surface with his rock-monster slave. Dax is disgusted that Rex didn't use his beacon to summon an invasion-force, so he takes the initiative. Rex and the freed slave defeat Dax, but now the government deems Rex an enemy agent. To protect his friends, Rex pretends complicity and flees.

LOGS DAY JOURNEY INTO NIGHT (G)-- Rex takes the identity of a lumberjack to conceal himself but still finds himself forced to battle injustice. The other heroes have been forbidden to crusade, but it turns out that Dax managed to send a message to his people. Robobot deduces that because Lex stole the anti-magno rod from the mansion, the League must make common cause with the Club. Unfortunately, Devizo has the rod now, and he seeks out Rex. In addition, the Subtopians reach the surface.

TITANIUM LEX (G)-- Within a short space of time, the Subtopians conquer Storm City while holding off all counterattacks from the government. Both the League and the Club are in hiding, and Devizo brings Rex back to the city for his own reasons. Devizo shows off the anti-magno rod and announces that they need more of the element to repel the invaders. Despite lots of bungling by the heroes and villains, Lex acquires the needed ordnance-- and though she plans to leave Rex to the mercies of his evil brother, she can't resist returning to save her dad, killing her Uncle Dax. Rex almost sacrifices himself in the stratagem that banishes the Subtopians, but Lex rescues him again, and agrees to join the League, but under her new name, Titanium Lex. But more trouble for Season 3 looms, as Doctor Devizo is put in charge of the heroes' future.

WAR ON CHRISTMAS-- Cooch, who believes in Santa Claus, releases from captivity an evil imp, Skibumpers (a clear analogue of Mxyzptlk). The elf grants Cooch's wish to make Santa real, forcing the League to cope with the chaos. This and one other special were filmed before Season Two, so Portia and Courtney don't appear, though on streaming the specials are lumped in with the second season.

DRAG ME TO HALLOWEEN-- In this Halloween offering, Ranger is almost seduced by a sexy ghost, Robobot is "possessed" by malware, and Cooch uncovers a malevolent dentist. The best plot involves Saturn and Groaner trying to score at a Halloween party, with more homoeroticism resulting.                         

  

SUPERMANSION SEASON ONE (2015)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous* 
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *comedy*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *psychological, sociological*

At first glance SUPERMANSION, a stop-motion animation series launched on the defunct service Crackle, might seem to be in exactly the same vein as Cartoon Network's acidulous ROBOT CHICKEN. Both of MANSION's creators had CHICKEN associations, with Matthew Senreich billed as the CHICKEN co-creator while Zeb Wells worked on the CN program in assorted creative capacities. Further, CHICKEN frequently used superhero-themed blackout gags that revealed the writers' geek-level knowledge of superhero comics, while MANSION is obviously about nothing but superheroes. However, I consider CHICKEN an irony and MANSION a comedy, and I define the difference here as being the degree to which the characters' world is effed up.

 MANSION's main focus is to bombard the viewer with sexy/slapsticky jokes about the six superheroes, the League of Freedom, who watch over Storm City and/or the world. The humor's crude but inventive, and most episodes are at least fair in mythicity (I've used "G" to denote the ones rising to the "good" level). The League members all derive from well-traveled genre tropes, to wit:

TITANIUM REX-- the League's leader and the "Superman" of the group, though he arrived in Storm City not from outer space but from a civilization beneath the surface. He came to the surface world as a young man but as he's old now, implicitly he's been a superhero for some forty years.

COOCH-- a former housecat evolved into a feline humanoid. Drawn from various heroes with animal-like characteristics, like both Spider-Man and Spider-Woman.

BRAD-- A mountainous crusader who, like many other heroes who are enhanced through chemistry, only has power as long as he takes steroids.

BLACK SATURN-- A thorough parody of Batman, Saturn is conceited and stupid, sounds like a whiny baby most of the time, and has recurring encounters with a Joker-like villain, "the Groaner," which relationship eventually turns homoerotic.

ROBOBOT-- A spoof of android heroes like Vision and Red Tornado, constantly questioning his identity due to his artificial origins. In Season One he converts to Judaism and takes the name Jewbot.

AMERICAN EAGLE-- A super-patriotic WWII hero in the mold of Captain America, and one who, like the Captain, got unnaturally preserved for decades until reaching modern times. This is the weakest character, used almost exclusively to assert that his patriotism is infused with racial and religious chauvinism.

GROANER'S WILD-- Rex's irresponsible teammates have abused the League's government budget so badly that a governmental bean-counter, Sgt Agony, is assigned to rein the heroes. Saturn's dialogue with the Groaner establishes the hero's pathetic need for the validation of an "arch nemesis."

THEY SHOOT OMEGA PETS, DON'T THEY? -- The League comes across what seem to be amiable super-pets, but the name "Omega" suggests their nefarious nature.

LET'S TALK ABOUT REX-- Despite Rex's many powers, including a titanium hand that can morph into various weapons, his battle with the villain Blazar makes the public wonder if the hero isn't too old for superheroing. Despite many age-jokes, Rex does get a little validation from his team of goofballs.

A SHOP IN THE DARK-- Rex invites the Defense Secretary for dinner at the Mansion to wangle a higher budget from the government. Rex thinks the deal's sealed because as a teen the Secretary was the kid sidekick of American Ranger, but of course everything goes wrong with the dinner. At least when it's revealed that the Secretary is a gay man, his relationship with Ranger remains platonic.

PUSS IN BOOKS-- The terminally distracted Cooch must pass a college-level test to stay in the League. 

LEX (G)-- A hot young costumed woman, Lex Lightning, shows up at the Mansion asking for Rex, and the geriatric bladesman assumes it's a groupie. Instead she shows him her titanium hand and claims to be the offspring of one of his many hookups. Since Rex doesn't know what the name "Lex" means in another super-universe, he tries to bond with Lex, endeavoring to teach her how to fly-- though he also runs out on her, showing his paternal reluctance.        

A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S REAM-- Jewbot experiments with his feminine side, Saturn goes clubbing, and three Leaguers get trapped by an evil gym membership. 

BRAD MEDICINE-- The company that makes Brad's steroids cuts him off, causing him to shrink back to his original size. His friends try to get him back on the sauce.

UNFORTUNATE SON-- Lex gets a look at Saturn's home life, where the latter is always seeking the approval of his uptight parents, who prefer his more practical-minded younger brother Dudley. Jewbot, however, learns that Dudley is a drug dealer.

BABES IN THE WOODS (G)-- Apparently sympathetic to Saturn, Lex plans to have sex with him on a League camping-trip. Saturn is willing but has fears of Rex punishing him for crossing a line. Rex has his own secret, revealing to Ranger that he Rex has been sleeping with Ranger's 80-something wife. Ranger unfriends Rex but still comes to the team's aid against killer hillbillies.

THE INCONCEIVABLE ESCAPE OF DR DEVIZO (G)-- Doctor Devizo, imprisoned in a Mansion cell, informs Rex that he plans to escape. He almost does, only to be thwarted by Lex Lightning, thus making the other Leaguers look bad. Ranger, having tasked his elderly wife with her infidelity, plans to commit his own transgression, but his plans go astray.

LEXANITY (G)-- Rex won't let Lex join the League, so when another superhero team is formed by a billionaire, she accepts that offer of membership. The highlight is Saturn acting the fool as he tries tp get into the new group-- until the ending, when Jewbot learns a secret about Lex and she chops off his head.

LEX AS A WEAPON (G)-- The Big Reveals: Lex is the bisexual offspring of Rex and one of his old villainess-flames, and since childhood Lex was raised to hate Rex by Devizo. Lex releases the evil doctor and his Injustice Club from their cells and incapacitates all the Leaguers. Devizo plans to unleash the Mansion's nuclear missiles on the world, but Lex becomes frustrated at her inability to torment Saturn with his having slept with a bisexual. She assigns Groaner to torture Saturn, but when Saturn proves to be the only hero who appreciates Groaner's villainy, Groaner releases Saturn, who frees his friends. Rex and Lex have a brief but intense battle on both physical and psychological levels. after which Lex escapes, albeit with her eyes (temporarily) burned out. Further, Brad ends up sacrificing his life to save the world. This probably stands as the show's best episode, dependent though it is in other continuity.

ADDENDUM: In the above review of "Babes in the Woods," I said that Lex "apparently" felt sympathy for Saturn, by which I meant that the writer(s) wanted viewers to think that. Having seen Season One before, I knew Lex intended to betray the League, so everything she did was oriented to that end. However, she really does not gain any advantage by sleeping with Saturn and is generally disgusted by him. Her only probable motive was that she knew her real father would disapprove of her dating Saturn, and that she mainly wanted to honk him off. On a deeper level (or as deep as a fictional character can get), Lex also wanted to know that Rex gave a shit what she did, and this is supported by Season Three's "Masters of Lex," wherein Lex dates a scumbag to draw a reaction from both her fathers.

EROTIC GHOST STORY 3 (1992)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous* 
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *drama*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *metaphysical, sociological*

This was the final official film in this franchise, and since the Big Bad of the first two films went to heaven at the end of EGS #2, it behooved the new raconteurs to devise a new way of combining spirits with Category III sexcapades. It's a shame the filmmakers didn't apply themselves a bit more, since the setup here was a little more promising than those of the first two movies.

Male and female leads Chu and Susu (Ching-wah Cheung, Chik King-man) are quickly established. The two medieval-era youths have been betrothed to one another by Chu's father, but though Susu is more than willing, Chu is not. She follows Chu to an inn and is almost raped because the martial skills of Susu are only so-so. Chu rescues Susu and they later seek shelter at a deserted temple. There they meet a man the size of a candlewick, which is apparently the reason he sports the name "Wick." Once Wick grows to man-size, the duo learns that he's a Buddhist monk (and the movie's comedy relief). 

An hour or so later, viewers see why Chu doesn't want to get married, when a painting comes to life and shows the young fellow three gorgeous dancing-girls. Evidently Chu is so eager to play the field, he's willing to enter a supernatural otherworld to get his ashes hauled. Even more improbably, Wick helps Chu do so.

Althiugh Chu does have great sex with the sexy ghost I-meng (Pauline Chan), his allurement is a plot by the otherworld's queen "Ladyship" (Chi Jing Wen). After having sex Chu visits the queen's court, and in bursts a male Chinese god (possibly) who rapes two of the females. Chu's too drunk to fight, but a little later he invades the god's domicile and kills him. But then Ladyship reveals that she made herself look like the god so that Chu would seek vengeance. With the god dead, Ladyship can do whatever she likes to mortals, which she demonstrates by raping the young man.

However, I-meng has fallen for her handsome bedmate, and both Susu and Wick are endeavoring to return Chu to the mortal world. Amusingly, at one point Susu and Wick succeed in getting Chu back to the temple, but Wick tells Susu that the only way Chu cam recover from sickness is if Susu has sex with his unconscious form. Whatever else one says about EGS 3, its script supports Equal Opportunity for Female Rapists. In due course, Chu, Susu and I-meng (with some "inside help" from Wick) destroy the evil queen. Susu is wounded and dies, but thanks to some double-talk from the monk, somehow I-meng becomes human and goes back to the living world for lots more sex.

When I started the film I was almost sure Chu and Susu would be the eminent heroes, but Chu and I-meng turned out to be "the pair whose love transcends death itself," a la CHINESE GHOST STORY. EGS 3 isn't a great film, even of its kind. But its characters are reasonably well delineated and the scenes of wacky comedy don't overwhelm the story.     

FIVE WOMEN FOR THE KILLER (1974)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *uncanny* 
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *drama*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *psychological*

KILLER was the third directorial film for Stelvio Massi. In Italy he would become known more for hardboiled crime films than for horror, but I suspect today English-speaking film-fans mostly know Massi for his second and last giallo movie: 1989's bizarre ARABELLA BLACK ANGEL.  

Next to ARABELLA, KILLER comes as a bit too conservative, though the cinematography is always good (particularly in the generously lingering female nude scenes) and the basic situation is compelling. Writer Giorgio (English actor Francis Matthews) returns to Italy, anticipating a reunion with his pregnant wife Erika. To his horror he finds her newly dead, the victim of a miscarriage. The baby survives at a local hospital, where Giorgio consults with his own doctor, one Lydia (Pasquale Rivault), an in-law to Erika. The writer then gets a double body-blow when he steals a look at his own file, and sees that Lydia diagnosed him as infertile, incapable of siring a child.  

Erika's death then precedes (unleashes?) a serial killer who begins knife-killing women-- often pregnant women who have some connection to Giorgio. In giallos, the trope of "gotta kill all the sexy women" usually focuses upon promiscuous females who usually are not in a family way. But since no woman can get pregnant naturally without SOME promiscuity, KILLER might have offered some psychological insights on the durable "woman as virgin or whore" trope. However, most of the time Massi's pace is slow and the (subbed) dialogue is mundane. Even though the victims are just tangentially connected to Giorgio, those associations are enough to interest the police.

The slow pace allows Massi to build a better supply of red herrings than one finds in many thrillers (including ARABELLA), and the complications regarding Giorgio's infertility and the killer's identity dovetail nicely. The murderer's obsession with pregnant victims is enough by itself to propel the film into the uncanny domain, though it helps that the murdered women have strange symbols carved into their flesh. And Massi does flout convention by making the killer's glove grey rather than black.  

KISS THE GIRLS AND MAKE THEM DIE (1966)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *poor*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *sociological*

I'm using my label "eurosploitation" for this Italian-American production because KISS feels a big-budgeted version of one of Italy's cheapie eurospy flicks-- not least because it shows what I've found to be those films' worst feature: crappy villains. Conversely, despite KISS having a storyline that ought to make maximum use of beautiful actresses, I've seen a number of cheap spyflicks that did a better job with their presentations of pulchritude.

The middle sixties displayed the apogee of the superspy movie. KISS was preceded in 1966 by both OUR MAN FLINT and the first of the Matt Helm movies and followed in 1967 by the "Bond-comedy" CASINO ROYALE, which used a "world-peril" very similar to that of KISS, but did it better. By the early seventies the more naturalistic spy-films became prevalent and the superspy subgenre didn't rally until the early 2000s. KISS probably did the subgenre neither lasting harm nor any good.

The story was mostly filmed in Rio de Janiero, where much of the action takes place. The famous Rio statue of Christ the Redeemer provides journeyman director Henry Levin with what might be his only "Hitchcock moment," as American agent Kelly (Mike Connors) fights off an attacker beneath the statue's shadow. Allegedly Kelly came to Rio investigating a white slavery ring, but this mundane rationale is dropped. Somehow Kelly gets on the track of eccentric Brazilian businessman Ardonian (Raf Vallone), who's seen hanging out with a gorgeous jet-setter type, Susan Fleming (Dorothy Provine). Kelly questions Susan and learns that she's a British agent who's also investigating the disappearance of nubile young women. In contrast to most Bond knockoffs, the hero's leading lady shares the spotlight here, even though Susan tends to fight with assorted gadgets (like a ring with a drugged needle) while Kelly uses basic fisticuffs.

Ardonian may be the most under-characterized "bad spy" from this period. The viewer soon learns that he's conspired with Red Chinese agents to engineer a radiation-weapon that can sterilize all of the United States, thus putting China in the catbird seat as a world power. The Dino Maiuri script gives Ardonian no particular motive, ideological or pecuniary, for collaborating with Red China or for building a rocket-silo in Africa, in order to launch a radiation-satellite into orbit. But Maiuri's reticence stems from a "Big Reveal:" Ardonian actually plans to neuter every other man on Earth, aside from himself and maybe a few aides. But the script presents this revelation with zero insight into the villain's psychology, in marked contrast to the better-conceived motives of Woody Allen's evildoer in CASINO ROYALE. All that said, the Reveal does provide KISS with its only mythic moment: a scene in the facility showing that all the kidnapped women have been placed in frozen blocks of ice, moving on a conveyor belt like so many delicacies at the villain's command.

There are a few decent moments of action and comedy in KISS, but they're drowned in lots of dull, pokey scenes, suggesting that often Levin was just marking time. There's also a senseless incident wherein Kelly enters a beauty's room, saves her from a deadly scorpion, and then-- tells her to leave her own room? Half a dozen lovely actresses appear in KISS, but the only ones who have half-decent roles are Provine and Marilu Tolo, the latter playing one of the villain's Chinese contacts.                        

  

EXTREME MOVIE (2008)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous* 
MYTHICITY: *poor*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *comedy*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *psychological*

I don't want to devote much time to this toss-off comedy, mostly a collection of blackout sketches, though a few segments are devoted to the experiences of a high-schooler named Mike as he pursues the girl of his dreams. It has a couple of skits devoted to time-travel and to a "Weird Science" situation, but neither the fantastic nor naturalistic elements are memorable enough to merit analysis. Yet I will admit that I found EXTREME more diverting than the average bad comedy, possibly just because though the producers mostly used unknown actors, they brought in a lot of hot women to justify their sex-spoofs. Also, I noted that one online reviewer with the site FILM CRITICS UNITED felt much as I did:

The good thing for this movie, despite the fact it’s not really all that funny is that it is still funnier than those Friedberg / Seltzer theatrical disasters ‘Date Movie’, ‘Epic Movie’, ‘Meet the Spartans’ and I think there’s one more that I made a conscious effort to avoid seeing.

The only thing I'll add is though the EXTREME jokes aren't as tiresome as those of the F/S "movie" series, they have the same problem: being too flaccid to generate anything like an inventive twist. One quick example: a young guy strikes up a chatroom-conversation with a woman and wants to meet with her. Though she hasn't laid eyes on him, she thinks it would be cool for him to come to her apartment pretending to be a masked rapist, who will then ravish her. Anyone watching will know that the young horndog will not be getting any, and the scripters take the most obvious route: through exigent circumstances the masked "rapist" shows up at the wrong apartment and menaces the wrong woman, who's terrified despite his fumbling approach. But there's no twist to conclude the skit and provide even fleeting satisfaction. Maybe it might have worked if the wrong woman subdued the guy, tied him up, and began indulging in some sort of "Misery" fantasy instead of the way the actual skit just petered out.

The script here was written and directed by a team best known for the theatrical release NOT ANOTHER TEEN MOVIE, which I have not re-watched for over twenty years. But I remember liking it mildly in the theater, and to my knowledge it may be the best spoof of teenage sex comedies. But then, ANOTHER was also a more high-ticket production, with a cast of solid B-level performers. So it looks like it didn't take long for the duo to slide into mediocrity-- along with most of the comedy-makers for the next twenty years.

            

DEADLY SWEET (1967)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *naturalistic* 
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *irony*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *psychological*

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

First off, I've long heard the name of erotic filmmaker Tinto Brass, but have only seen a G-rated 1964 film he directed, THE FLYING SAUCER, which is probably not representative of his work. DEADLY SWEET, which also used the title I AM WHAT I AM, may not be any more so.  

Second, SWEET is a hard film to classify. The poster above calls SWEET "a sexy giallo thriller," but aside from the director/co-writer's use of garish color, there's not much here to tie the movie in with the giallos as they later developed. SWEET might be deemed to prefigure the way some later giallos combined psycho-horror with crime thrillers, and indeed this film frequently seems like a sendup of a crime thriller. The only metaphenomenal element is that of a perilous psycho, but Brass approaches the genre-element of "find the killer" with a studied indifference, underscored by two separate references either to director Michelangelo Antonioni or to that director's BLOW-UP from the previous year. Since that movie also concerned a crime that almost gets lost in the protagonist's experiences in the world of Swinging Sixties London, there can't be much doubt that Brass wanted attentive viewers to pick up on his emulations-- for all that BLOW-UP became an international sensation while SWEET was essentially forgotten.

POV character Bernard (Jean-Louis Trintignant) is an out-of-work actor in London, and he's not painted as the brightest bulb, given that he's given to dropping random quotes of persons as different as Lao Tsu and Mao Tse-tung. While in a disco-- where he's been cut off for failure to pay his bar tab-- he spies four well-known upper-class celebrities: blonde heiress Jane Burroughs (Ewa Aulin), her brother Jerome, her stepmother Martha, and an older man, Leris, rumored to be keeping company with Martha since her husband passed away. This sounds a lot like the sort of nuclear family constellation that makes for dramatic explosions, but unlike most giallos, family conflicts get lost in the shuffle.

Bernard drops in on the club's owner and finds the man dead, while in the same room is Jane, who immediately claims, "I didn't do it." Does Bernard do the sane thing and call the cops? No, he decides he's going to play detective (he even wears a trenchcoat during most of the film) and try to exonerate the waifish Jane. When she introduces herself, he responds to the name "Jane Burroughs" with "Me Tarzan," making clear that Bernard nurtures delusions of being a rescuing hero. And Jane seems content to let him squire her around the sights of Swinging London-- at least, until she's seized by kidnappers (one played by a very young David Prowse). Then Bernard has to start playing detective for real, eventually linking up with Brother Jerome to save Jane.

Though in many giallos the kidnappers would be related to the murder, here they seem to be nothing but mundane extortionists. Along the way Leris, the supposed lover of Martha, is also murdered, and toward the movie's conclusion-- amid lots of psychedelia, jump cuts, pop art imagery, and brief shifts from color to black-and-white-- Bernard finally gets around to interviewing Stepmother Martha. She promptly reveals that she wasn't the one Leris was dating on the sly, and Bernard learns that a hero should never trust a blonde waif, even after she lets said hero jump her bones.

Euro-comics master Guido Crepax is credited with having story-boarded SWEET, and most of the time the movie looks like an attempt to apply the sixties' pop art aesthetic to a whole motion picture. Pop art appears in many location backgrounds, including one Batman painting not known to me and one of Lichtenstein's famous "blow-ups" of a single romance-comics panel. In two different scenes violence is punctuated with quick "sound-effects" like "SLAM," a clear shout-out to '66 BATMAN, and Bernard also has a close encounter with Alfred E. Neumann. Even Jane's enigmatic line-- "I am what I am"-- might be derived from a certain salty sailor. I don't think Brass had any particular point to make with these citations, though, any more than his conjurations with the sixties music scene. Swinging London does at times seem to dissolve into a Dionysian chaos far from anything that Humphrey Bogart, or even Jean-Paul Belmondo, ever had to cope with. Thus I classify SWEET as an irony, in that the film depicts a world where even the story's Big Reveal doesn't make things any less chaotic.

                        

 

SISTER WRATH (2008)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous* 
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *comedy*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *metaphysical*

While this film's alternate title NUN OF THAT was accurate in describing its wacky comical nature, I like SISTER WRATH better. While there have been a smattering of straightforward adventure-stories featuring vengeful nuns, the idea of undercutting the "merciful" association of nuns to make them into vessels of God's wrath carries its own vibe of absurdity.

In fact, nearly no one in director/co-scripter's Richard Griffin's world of crazy Catholics could strain the quality of mercy if their lives depended on it. The Church maintains a cadre of killer hit-nuns-- no word as to why there don't seem to be any male assassins-- and cheerfully sends them out to knock off sinners, primarily hardcore gangsters. But at the start of the movie, the nuns lose one of their number, so they need a replacement.      

Sister Kelly (Sarah Nicklin) is getting called on the carpet by Mother Superior for having beaten up a pedophile priest-- who foolishly shows up to see Kelly drummed out and gets pounded on by Kelly some more. Kelly is transferred to a new diocese, but as soon as she gets there, three gun-toting nuns show up and ventilate Kelly's penguin outfit, with her in it.

Surprise: Kelly ends up in Heaven, where she's expected to become one of God's holy hitwomen. Getting shot dead is like an initiation ceremony, and it means that she can once more descend to Earth, in a mortal body, and start knocking off cannoli-munching Mafioso. Only one problem: if Kelly-- now dubbed Sister Wrath-- gets killed a second time, it's for good. Kelly also learns that ascending to Heaven also has special perks, for being a "bride of Christ" means becoming part of the Heavenly Savior's own private harem. (To be sure, we don't see "Jesus" having sex with any of the hot nuns; presumably Griffin wasn't willing to get quite that crazy.)    

So on Earth Kelly is joined by Sisters Gluttony, Lust and Pride, and they start violently gunning down Italian gangsters. Local capo Momma Rizzo sets a killer to catch a killer, and a Jew to take down the Brides of Christ: one "Viper Goldstein." Viper's presence allows Griffin to take a rest from Catholic jokes in favor of Jewish ones, but no one could be offended as this sort of over-the-top nonsense. Many jokes fall flat and a fair number work okay, but the funniest moment is when the Killer Nuns get assistance from whoever was Pope in 2008. Perhaps Griffin signaled his cinematic inspiration for this movie, with its balls-to-the-wall gunplay and frequent fistfights, by having the papal eminence played by Lloyd Kaufman of TROMA fame.

WRATH is episodic and simplistic, but unlike a lot of "so bad they're good" poser-flicks, this one at least has a good level of energy.

            

BUTT ATTACK PUNISHER GIRL GAUTAMAN (1994)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous* 
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *comedy*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *metaphysical*

There's not much info online about this one-shot obscurity, though one site translated about thirteen installments of a manga series, with the added info that the feature enjoyed about 60 chapters. I'm going to guess that the GAUTAMAN manga was not terribly successful, but that this lack of success made the franchise cheap enough for some studio to snap up the rights. Maybe the studio hoped to garner some attention with yet another fanservice-heavy "magical-girl" concept (though nowhere near as heavy as KEKKO KAMEN). As far as I know, there was just this 45-minute OAV.

From the thirteen chapters I read, the concept is relatively novel. Mari Amachi is a Japanese Christian of high school age. She's enrolled in an extraordinarily "multi-culti" school, the Perfect Religion Institute, where all students and teachers belong to a wide variety of religions. The manga starts off gradually, showing how Mari arrives at school and is befriended by future best friend Saori, a Hindu girl. However, the anime jumps ahead to a point where Mari and Saori have also become acquainted with another classmate, handsome Tobishima, with whom Mari is smitten. In the anime Mari has already been transforming for some time into "Gautaman," a name that may be a combination of the 1970s anime GATCHAMAN and the personal cognomen of the Buddha. Mari's origin is super-simple; the first time she's in peril, she calls on God for help, but instead the Buddha answers and gives her the power to change into Gautaman. It's not clear exactly what powers Gautaman has, for she's usually seen just hitting villains with punches and kicks. Once or twice, she satisfies the oddity of her name by slamming into someone with her big, well-exposed butt. Yet even in 45 minutes, there aren't as many butt-jokes as I expected.

As for the source of peril, Guataman's source of enemies is a gang called the "Black Buddhas," who want to force everyone at the school to convert to their religion, whatever it is. There's nothing remotely Buddhist about any of the villains: some of them dress up like octopi (I think they get turned into sashimi) and their leader calls himself "Pope Johann" and dresses accordingly. (He also turns into a Terminator at the climax.) Mari in her "secret identity" is terribly embarrassed by her alter ego's showiness, especially since Tobishima considers Guataman to be little better than a whore. Yet he really has no room to talk, for Tobishima is a member of the Black Buddhas.                       

The biggest surprise for GAUTAMAN is that for a one-shot OVA, it actually has a unifying arc despite the rampant silliness. Two-thirds of the way through, Mari's father recognizes her in her superhero ID, because-- he recognizes her exposed butt as that of his own little girl. Surprisingly, there's no sense that his butt-recognition is pervy in any way, which perviness is something one sees a LOT of, in anime. Further, because the dad disapproves of Mari being a half-naked hero, he tells her that unless she gives it up, he'll remove her from school. Of course at the end, Mari must become Gautaman to battle Tobishima in his super-villain guise. She wins, but then loses, because the OAV does end with Dad and Mari departing the school by train. We don't see Tobishima wishing her goodbye, but Saori does. She for her part had been tossing out a few lesbian overtures to Mari throughout the anime, and Mari didn't pick up on them, but for the conclusion she confesses to Mari as she leaves. Mari pledges that they'll see one another again-- roll credits. It wasn't anything heart-rending, to be sure. But it was at least an original way to finish up a video that was mostly naked boobs and butts, dopey religious jokes, and light lesbianism.