Sunday, May 11, 2025

THE LAST WITCH HUNTER (2015)

 


PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *poor*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *metaphysical*                                                                                                                                                 I'd never heard either positive or negative reviews of this Vin Diesel project, but now that I've seen it, HUNTER has one standout aspect. While I can tolerate a lot of derivative plots and characters in my search for good-- or even just fun-- adventure-movies, I'm aware that some viewers get immediately turned off by anything that seems stereotypical. For various reasons, HUNTER gave me some sense of how an adventure-hater feels when faced with an especially mediocre specimen.                                                                                                     

HUNTER, based on some D&D concept that Vin Diesel was able to copyright (somehow), hinges on Diesel's protagonist Kaulder being immortal. Thus a 14th-century Kaulder joins with other warriors to destroy the evil Witch Queen (Julie Englebrecht) who unleashes the Black Plague on the world. Presumably she has even worse plans in store for humanity when Kaulder slays her. And the dying Queen curses Kaulder with-- immortality? Wait, how does she know this will be an undesirable fate to this guy? Yes, I, like every fantasy-viewer, have seen umpteen stories about immortals who get existentially exhausted with eternal life. But the Witch Queen doesn't have any particular reason to assume that her killer is going to be so discomfited. This major stumbling-block in storytelling is just one of too many others.                                                   

   The audience doesn't get to see Kaulder learning the evils of immortality, for the film immediately shuttles to the present day. Though the Witch Queen is dead, an entire race of witches still exists on the fringes of regular civilization, and Kaulder has become an enforcer for an organization, the Axe and Cross, that monitors witch-activities. Neither the culture of the witches nor the monitoring organization get much elaboration, but Kaulder trusts one guy, Dolan 36 (Michael Caine), as his contact person. Dolan 36 is assassinated (apparently) and Kaulder launches a crusade to find the killer.                 

  Since Kaulder doesn't practice magic, he has to draft a witch to help his investigation, so he chooses, almost randomly, a hot young conjuress named Chloe (Rose Leslie). Chloe is given little reason to help Kaulder at first, though a convenient plot-device has Chloe's buddy knocked off by Kaulder's enemies, so this becomes motivation enough for her to risk her own life. (The writers probably wanted to imply that Chloe had the hots for the reticent hero, given a late scene where she seems jealous of another woman's attentions to Kaulder.) Kaulder beats down various unmemorable menaces until he finally learns that his enemies are out to revive the Witch Queen. This contingency isn't even anything the Queen arranged in anticipation of her demise. There's some gobbledygook about how Kaulder's immortal existence is the key to the Queen's revival, but it was all forgettable too. The final battle between Kaulder and the grotty Queen is fairly well choreographed, but everything else is from hunger. In 2015 the film made more than it cost, but not much more, which may be the reason no threatened sequel has materialized.     
    





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