GET MEAN (1975)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *poor*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *comedy*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *metaphysical, sociological*

GET MEAN is the last of four spaghetti westerns starring Tony Anthony as "The Stranger." My recollection is that the first three were fairly straightforward western adventures with no metaphenomenal content, with Anthony doing his take on Clint Eastwood's famed "Man with No Name." However, by 1975 Euro-westerns were allegedly losing steam at the box office, and Anthony, who had co-produced the other three "Stranger" films, took this entry into the realm of metaphenomenal comedy. He probably didn't mean for the fourth "Stranger" to be the last installment, but it was just as well in my view, since MEAN fails as comedy or as adventure. 

For this film Anthony teamed up for the second time with director Ferdinando Baldi, who had helmed Anthony's best opus, 1971's BLINDMAN. However, the tone of MEAN had more in common with Baldi's 1967 musical spoof-western LITTLE RITA OF THE WEST, which I described as a "silly farrago of comic scenes." 

As if to suck in an audience expecting a regular western adventure, the opening is fairly grim. The Stranger is being dragged across the desert by a speeding horse, which only comes to a halt upon entering a ghost town. The horse promptly dies and a small group of Spaniards, whose presence in the town is never explained, releases the Stranger. It's suggested that they knew their respective paths would cross, because the Spaniards have a mission for the Stranger. They want him to accompany their princess Elizabeth (Diana Lorys) back to Spain, where she's supposed to lead her people against an invading force of "barbarians." The Stranger initially wants no part of the contract, despite the Spaniards' promise of a hefty fee. However, out of nowhere a barbarian, sporting a Viking-like appearance, shows up and picks a fight with the Stranger. After beating the intruder, the Stranger agrees to the deal.

With no sense of transition, the Stranger and Elizabeth arrive in Spain, which looks just like the American terrain they just left. They witness a battle between the invading barbarians and another group called "Moors," who are either Elizabeth's people or allies of them. The script makes no attempt to map out who's who or where anyone came from, but the Moors-- all of whom have such Spanish names as Diego, Alfonso and Sombra-- take Elizabeth and leave her protector dangling from a tree. However, he's rescued by a motley group of fighters loyal to the princess. The Stranger wants his money for transporting Elizabeth, but the loyalists say he can only get it is if he liberates Elizabeth, who can lead him to "the treasure of Rodrigo."

The barbarian invasion gets forgotten for the most part as the dubious hero beards the evil Moorish leaders in their own court. After a lot of folderol, the Moors agree to release Elizabeth for a share of the treasure, and the Stranger is appointed as her surrogate to descend into some mysterious caves.

Up to this point I might have classified the film as "uncanny" in depicting Spain of the late 19th century as populated by barbarians and Moors. But the caves harbor restless spirits, who invisible hit the hero in the face and howl at him, so that the Stranger almost feels like he's turning werewolf. He briefly exits the caves and gets chased by a bull, is "blackfaced" by a gusher of oil, and finally does find a treasure of sorts, though he has to kill a knife-wielding maniac to get the object.

But the Moors don't like the thing he brings back, claiming that it's a cursed necklace. They try to sacrifice the Stranger, but he escapes, after which he decides to unlimber his special weapon, a four-barrelled shotgun, though Thoth only knows where he was hiding it. The Stranger takes out all of his enemies and finds the treasure for good measure, enabling him to return home.

Whatever his performance in the earlier installments, Anthony's not very heroic here; with his cherubic face he seems less like a gunfighter than a smart-ass kid. The leading lady has nothing to do but to act imperious and get verbally shot down. All of the best scenes go to the three villains, who are respectively a big dumb ox, a simpering gay guy, and a hunchbacked schemer who deems Richard III his hero. A few barbarian character float in and out of the story at random, and a trio of homely barbarian women figure into the movie's only memorable absurdity. At one point, as if to comment on the female/male fight in BLINDMAN, the three barbarian girls overpower the Stranger and almost kill him, except that one girl gets turned on and tries to kiss him. The interruption allows the Stranger to whip a net over the lot of them, as well as his fruity enemy Alfonso, who happens by so that the hero can pass a comment on "women who act like men and men who act like women." The action-scenes are OK but none of the intended comedy is funny.