MACABRE LEGENDS OF THE COLONIES (1974)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *poor*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *metaphysical, sociological*

Here I was complaining a few weeks ago about the slightly lame name of one 1972 Mil Mascaras flick, and now I come across this one, which may be one of the poorest titles ever in terms of "hooking" an audience looking for cheap thrills. The movie's plot, co-written by the film's director Arturo Martinez, is no better. Not even the fact that this was the first of his three luchador films excuses the eccentric rambling of what ought to be a basic piece of pop entertainment-- particularly since Martinez had acted in all three of the Aztec Mummy films of the late fifities.

The time-travel plot was better handled by THE THREE STOOGES MEET HERCULES, and I wouldn't rule that out as a possible influence on MACABRE. Tieneblas, the biggest of three wrestlers working together at a match somewhere in Mexico, wanders into a curio shop. He takes a fancy to a weird painting, even though the proprietor tells him that it bears a curse from the days of Spain's early colonization of Mexico. He buys it, and then the film drops the main plot for about twenty minutes, as Tinieblas and his two partners, Mil Mascaras and the White Angel, take on various opponents in the ring.

Later that evening, after Tinieblas's partners warn him about making eyes at ladies in the audience too often, the three of them assemble at Tieneblas's home, along with two comely woman, the dates of the homeowner and the White Angel respectively. No sooner does the rather thick-headed wrestler show off his new acquisition than smoke boils from the painting. In the blink of an eye, all five of them are transported back to Conquistador times.

While the three stooges and their two dates wander around dodging the locals, Martinez reveals that the source of the time-travel magic is the painting in its 16th century incarnation, Said painting is in the possession of a well-dressed aristocrat, Lady Luisa (Lorena Velasquez). Despite looking very well-to-do, various remarks establish that Luisa is a social outcast for being a mestiza, and this has played a role in Luisa taking up the practice of witchcraft to punish the white invaders. At the same time, this message of cultural defiance is vitiated by the fact that Luisa keeps the mummified corpse of her mother in her house and makes sacrifices to it, so it sounds like the apple didn't fall far from the witch-tree.

Martinez wastes a lot of time in empty exposition scenes, particularly with the Inquisition authorities out to squelch Luisa's influence. Eventually the wrestlers and their dates fall into Luisa's clutches. She doesn't seem to expect their advent, so maybe the painting just grabbed the 20th-century quintet to pile up a few more sacrifices. The wrestlers have a few fights with Luisa's Indian minions, and then the two girls hit Luisa from behind-- and for some reason, this returns them to their own time, and Tinieblas destroys the painting. However, just for one last dose of muddled Mex-horror, Luisa somehow sends some Indian warriors to the 20th, where the luchadores easily trounce them in the ring. The End.

Since the fights are all dull, MACABRE's only virtue is giving lots of scenes to the gorgeous Lorena Velasquez. She made one more luchador film with Martinez as director, and that seems to be her swan song in the genre, though Velasquez continued to act and was still undertaking roles as recently as 2020.