Wednesday, June 26, 2024

SHINOBI GIRL: THE MOVIE (2015)

 





PHENOMENALITY: *uncanny*
MYTHICITY: *poor*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *sociological*

The only thing I slightly like about this cheapjack item is the subtitle. "Shinobi Girl-- the Movie?" As in contrast to-- Shinobi Girl the absolutely-nothing-else?

OK, OK-- from what IMDB tells me, it looks like the material for this "movie" may have appeared as an 8-episode TV series in some venue *somewhere.* But that "logic" still doesn't justify a "The Movie" indicator.

SHINOBI just barely qualifies as a "superhero-adjacent" film. Noriko (Alexandra Hellquist) gets raped by a Wall Street executive (the film barely mentions the event) and so decides to don masked ninja-gear and launch a crusade against "one percenters" in defense of the 99 percent. The man she killed was the husband of Tiffany Brooks (Molly Fahey), and Tiffany sends various henchmen, led by her hot bodyguard Raven in pursuit of the vigilante. Oh, and just to prove how evil the "one percent" is, Tiffany and her cohorts hold slave-auctions in the basement of their Wall Street complex, the slaves being downtrodden 99-percenters.

What follows are various badly choreographed battles, both with swords and with fists, where Noriko-- nicknamed "Shinobi Girl" by the media-- appears mostly alongside other hot girls with no acting talent, all in nondescript locales like garages and office buildings. There's one odd scene where Noriko seems to appear out of nothingness to thwart a bad guy, but since she has no super-powers, one must assume this was supposed to be a "ninja trick."

Damn, now NINJA CHEERLEADERS begins to look pretty good after I suffered through this tripe.

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