SUBURBAN COMMANDO (1991)

 

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *comedy*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *psychological*

I'd seen COMMANDO long ago, and I probably would not have watched it again for any reason but completism re: my "superhero opera" project. And watching it again confirmed my recollection that this movie, to misquote Mary Poppins, was practically pedestrian in every way, particularly with regard to its star Hulk Hogan.

Hogan play intergalactic warrior Shep Ramsey. (Shep? Really?) The film opens with Shep making a one-man sortie on a mammoth ship, where he seeks to liberate a prisoner from the evil General Suitor (William Ball, who puts an eccentric spin on the expected space-opera warlord). Shep blows up the ship and apparently kills Suitor but fails to free the captive. Shep's superior tells the warrior to take some time off. Shep has a minor tantrum, accidentally messing up his personal spacecraft's guidance system, so that he ends up on a planet he never meant to visit again: Earth. He looks for a residence where he can blend in while repairing his ship.

Shep rents a garage apartment from the Wilcoxes, consisting of Charlie (Christopher Lloyd), Jenny (Shelley Duval), and two kids. I won't bother naming the kids because they barely figure in the action, even though COMMANDO is entirely aimed at a juvenile audience. Duval's character barely gets any better treatment, though she has one funny scene getting dressed up in sexy clothes to stimulate her husband. Charlie's the only character of any consequence in the story, unworthy though the role is of Chris Lloyd's talents.

Even though Shep dislikes Earthlings and is trying to keep a low profile, he seems to draw attention from the neighborhood kids and can't seem to stop from doing good deeds, however grumpily. Charlie, who's beaten down at work by a dipstick boss, feels threatened by Shep's macho, so he snoops in Charlie's residence. He finds Shep's armor and puts it on, which leads to him playing hero to drive off some holdup men.

Charlie also activates a distress call in the ship, and soon two alien bounty hunters arrive on Earth. Shep alternates between trying to repair his ship-- for which he needs the help of Charlie, who alone knows his secret-- and fighting off the hunters in big splashy but predictable battles. At the climax General Suitor, who survived the explosion of his craft, shows up on Earth and there's another big, meaningless throwdown.

Though COMMANDO was a theatrical bomb in comparison to Hogan's previous outing, the wrestling-flick NO HOLDS BARRED, the wrestler-turned-actor went on to make two or three more of these juvenile no-brainers. I tend to speculate that Hogan was comfortable doing this sort of humor because it didn't require him to do any acting. As for the rest of the cast, only one other performer besides Ball was slightly fun: Jo Ann Dearing as a spunky secretary who won't take any crap, even from the gargantuan blonde guy with a dog's name.